tepidity | (no subject)

[ when nisaka turns back around, he's surprised to find kuroo a lot closer than he had been in seconds previous. his lips part, thinking to question the other about it, but in the same second he second-guesses himself, and shakes the question away. he decides he must have remembered wrong; that seems to fit in a lot better with what he knows of the world than the alternative. ]

Maybe if you're lucky, I'll even treat you to dessert.

[ the hair at the back of his neck is slightly rustled, long enough now that strands stick up here and there. absently, he reaches up to smooth the hair down, fingertips trailing along the smooth skin of his neck. it tingles there, absently. like the phantom feeling of a gaze. ]

Ready...?

[ he's the younger of two sons, and so by default he has the smaller of the two rooms. but it's only in the moments he finds himself alone with kuroo for too long that the space actually seems too small to contain all that he wishes he could say. ]

[ For a moment Kuroo's heart jolts up into his chest like he's about to spit it up in a ball of hair and drop it lovingly at Nisaka's feet, because that little opening of Nisaka's mouth had seemed like a question, like he'd noticed Kuroo had gotten a little closer. Nisaka's face is lovely in this light too, the late orangey sun picking up all the flecks of color in his eyes, and the subtle shine of it in his dark hair.... but then he watches his friends expression distinctly shift as though reconsidering and Kuroo can't help but be disappointed. He knows Nisaka very well, of course, but even years of being in each others back pockets doesn't gift him with total clarity when it comes to his best friend... and curious as he is, he'd kill to know what's circling around in Nisaka's mind right now.

He licks his lips when Nisaka says dessert, though he's not aware of it, suffocating the sinful part of his mind that's taking the intonation of his voice and storing it away somewhere deep and undisturbed for later use. The other half of his mind is focusing on Nisaka's hands, how they pet at the back of his head like he's nervous, and suddenly Kuroo is overwhelmed with jealousy, dangerous jealousy, and he staves it off by concentrating on the act itself-- ]

Your hair is getting long, huh?

[ He murmurs, eyes clearly stuck on the trails flattened by his fingers, the ones that curl under his ear and move against the slender slope of his neck when he moves his head--- and then he realises what he just said, how weird it must sound, and shakes it free as if dislodging the train of thought completely... as if he could. ]

Sorry. Yeah, I'm ready.

[ nisaka wouldn't call himself particularly intuitive; perceptive, perhaps, but not nearly as perceptive as kuroo himself, and so often he wonders if what he thinks he sees is merely a shadow of what he knows he wants to see. if perhaps his longing colors too much of the world around him, because sometimes it sure does feel like it's enough to suffocate him.

little moments like these — a look or a silence dragged on just a second too long, a strange comment let slip out of carelessness. his reaction is clockwork: a brief flicker of hope, and the near instantaneous quelling from the more logical part of his mind.

of course kuroo notices. it's been two months. anyone would after that long. especially someone as meticulous as he is about appearance. calm down. get a grip. ]

...You've been under the sun too long, [ he ends up murmuring, shaking his head as if exasperated.

he steps around the other, keeping a wide berth as he moves past to lead the way out of the room, out of the house. outside doesn't provide him the relief he's aching for, but at least he gets to breathe in more than just kuroo's scent. ]

[ Kuroo doesn't really have an answer for that, because if that's what Nisaka choose to believe then that's what he should believe; that's the excuse Kuroo should take and run with it, because it's the excuse that makes the most sense, it's the easiest option, it's the safest way out. But it leaves him feeling like when Nisaka turns and exits the room, that he takes a piece of him with him, and he stares after him for perhaps a moment or two longer than he should, just letting that absence become comfortable again, before he follows. ]

Is you getting Employee of the Month really the most interesting thing that happened while I was gone?

[ He asks, hands in his pockets as he keeps up with Nisaka's pace, falling back into a familiar normalcy that always follows the moments Kuroo manages to force them into, sometimes aggressive in how normal they strive to be, like they're over compensating for something. ]

There's no gossip at all? [ It's not really surprising, but he's still disappointed. ] I hate how peaceful this place is. No drama at all.

Edited 2018-03-08 20:41 (UTC)

[ nisaka's own hands slip into his pockets, fingers idly finding the tangled roll of his earphones to play with. he grows thoughtful for a moment, actually trying to take the question seriously now. he's not exactly the best to ask, given his penchant to keep to himself, but he's a little unwilling to leave kuroo too disappointed, especially after not seeing him for so long. ]

Matoi broke up with his girlfriend? [ definitely not something he's too terribly interested in, from the dull tone of his voice. ] He wouldn't stop talking about it for a week. You'll probably be able to get the whole story out of him pretty easily.

[ but what else, what else...? his mind keeps coming up blank, not just because his days wound up being one big empty nothing without kuroo around, but it's no secret that much of his socialization is all an indirect result of kuroo's own meddling, so any opportunities for gossip and the like aren't as likely to fall to his feet.

he glances over, chewing on the inside of his cheek. ]

What about you? Anything interesting happen for you?

[ Kuroo is fully aware (and has proof since he and Nisaka have texted as often as they can for as long as they could over the past two months) that during his time away Nisaka didn't exactly show his face much of anywhere besides work and home, and Kuroo is torn over how it makes him feel; dissatisfied because Nisaka wasn't maximising his potential, because he was a few short conditions away from a shut in.. and pleased, because Nisaka's life was so intertwined with his that Kuroo's absence had thrown Nisaka off just as being away from Nisaka had thrown him off. He's not going to tell Nisaka about the first week he'd been at camp, and how he constantly found himself turning to speak to a best friend that wasn't there, and how he got food he knew Nisaka liked at the cafeteria because it made him feel just that little bit closer to him. ]

That's good, she was way too good for him anyway.

[ Eat his dick, Matoi. That's what you get for all the jokes about Kuroo having a crush that got a little too close to reality for comfort. ]

Mmm, not really. [ He shrugs, looking up as the familiar little restaurant comes into view. ] I went to sports camp, there was just a lot of playing volleyball. [ A pause. ] Oh. I learnt how to play poker. That's pretty interesting.

[ it's a pretty sad life from an outsider's perspective, but nisaka hasn't found any reason to complain. he's always been the quiet sort, and certainly never minds keeping to himself. in fact, more often than not, he'd prefer it. there isn't much in the world that encourages or motivates him to do much... but for kuroo, he'd do almost anything. he certainly hasn't said "no" yet. ]

That's what I told him, but he didn't seem too happy to hear it.

[ then again, maybe their friends aren't too disappointed they don't have to deal with nisaka's bluntness all the time.

he steps up first to the restaurant, tugging the door open to let kuroo walk in first. he tends to prefer to let his best friend handle the entrances... the less attention on him, the better. ]

Poker...? Are you going to teach me, or is that something else you're going to be a sore loser about?

[ Kuroo grins with his eyes sliding shut, looking like a pleased cat in response to Nisaka's question. ]

Oh, I'll teach you. But I won't be the one losing.

[ Because while yes the guys at camp did teach him how to play poker, they also made many obvious plays that someone as perceptive as Kuroo could easily recognise as cheating, meaning Kuroo has basically become a rounded-off poker expert in the space of just a few late evenings outside in the balmy summer air.. and he's definitely not afraid to exercise his newfound calling.

Kuroo pushes the noren aside as he enters, calling out through the comfortable din rumbling through the small restaurant space. A little old man comes half skidding out of the back and races up to the podium by the door, eyes wide and voice excited as he greets Kuroo like he would a long lost son. Kuroo grins bashfully, nods and bows and thanks the man like he would a cute but eccentric uncle, and they are swiftly led to their table. Iwata-san also greets Nisaka, remarks that it's been quite some time since he last saw him here and asks how his family are - all the usual things a nosy family friend might ask, and he looks about to engage further when there's a shriek from the kitchen that makes Iwata-san blush guiltily, as the sound is clearly recognised as his wife telling him to get back to work.

Still flushed he takes their orders without them even having to say anything, because they're so familiar to him and the restaurant by this point that they have favourites he knows by heart, and he bows deeply before speeding away into the kitchen again. ]

Ah, we can only dream to have relationships as good as theirs one day, Nisaka-san...

[ Kuroo says in a mock-serious voice while he cluthces dramatically at his heart... though he's not entirely joking. Though Iwata-san and his wife seem rather ill-fitted and dysfunctional upon first impression, exposure makes it clear that they really are more in love than anyone could imagine. ]

Mm.

[ it's as noncommittal an answer as nisaka is wont to giving, but the way he watches after the older man's back (even long after he'd disappeared into the kitchen to begin placating his wife in hushed tones) suggests there's a lot more to the single syllable than he's willing to expound on.

then again, this dismissive disinterest isn't exactly a new look on the smaller boy. if anything, it's a response you can set your watch to any time relationships and love in general is brought up. a slightly glazed look to the eye, or a clouded expression that brings him anywhere else but there he currently stands.

by the time he turns back to the other, his expression is carefully neutral once more. ]

Youichi says hi. He's busy at university so he won't be able to visit before summer ends.

[ Kuroo is used to this, of course. He's used to watching down to the millisecond where Nisaka will go far away in his own head. For a long time he thought it was disinterest, that relationships bored him so much that even hearing about them would make his brain switch onto something, anything else.... but in recent years, as Kuroo's perception has become sharper and their teenage hormones harder to ignore, Kuroo has noticed a distinct purposefulness to the way Nisaka gets when anyone puts the idea of him and a relationship in the same conversation. His look is almost wistful, Kuroo thinks. But perhaps it's just the light in here. He can't deny how badly he wants to prod and poke at that possibility, see what he can find out if he just scratches off a few more layers.. ]

Mm, I know. Your brother and I text more than you and I do, you know.

[ A lie, and a blatant one. Kuroo has Youichi on social media and the two share updates every so often more out of habit than anything else, but Kuroo does sometimes get the opportunity to gossip and therefore to tease. ]

He's the one who told me about you getting a job before you did. It's a good thing I have him to fill me in or I might have forgotten you while I was away.

[ it's nothing new, this sort of teasing. nisaka has been on the brunt end of it many times before, and he himself has doled it out a fair few times. still, there is a moment where he falls for it, where just the very thought of kuroo forgetting all about him steals his breath.

then logic grabs a hold of his heart again, squeezing the air out of it. his expression quickly flattens, a soft scoff leaving him. ]

Your first week you wouldn't stop texting me till way past midnight. You know I had 6 AM shifts, right?

[ not that he's complaining or anything... besides, it's not like he'd tried to stop kuroo at any of those nights.

in any case, his point stands. ]

If you spoke to my brother at all, it was only during the times I couldn't text back.

So you kept telling me every time you texted me back.

[ Busted.

Kuroo's hands play around on the table, his usual trick when he's focusing intently on someone without making it obvious - he turns his head away, does something with his hands, does anything to make his attention less overwhelming for the victim under it's large weight. He usually only does this for his conversation partners sake.. when underclassmen are trying to get advice from him but can barely breathe from how intimidating he is, for Nisaka when he gets in those moods where he'd rather be a part of the scenery than a person in the conversation... and, more rarely, when he's nervous.. when the only thing he can do to displace the energy he might force on a person otherwise, is to expel it by fiddling.

With his fingers toying with the little shovel dipped in the small bowl of chilli flakes on the table, he grins placidly at Nisaka. ]

I still can't believe you've done 6am shifts. How did you do it? Did you have to leave your phone over the other side of the room to force yourself awake?

[ He chuckles.. Nisaka's laziness is no secret, but even Kuroo sometimes struggles to get himself up for his runs before school, so he can't fathom how someone as perma-lethargic as Nisaka managed it. ]

[ the early shifts were one in a list of many issues that nisaka had had regarding taking up that job in the first place. it certainly wasn't the easiest routine to fall into, especially when he would have an opening shift following a closing shift, but his parents were pretty adamant about the new responsibility...

and he's only one more paycheck away from saving up enough money to get kuroo a pair of those sneakers he'd been eyeing before school ended. it'll be pretty early for a birthday gift, but nisaka thinks he can make it believably casual enough. a clearance sale online, perhaps. something like that. ]

I changed my alarm to one of my mom's old songs, [ he says, completely straight-faced. his mom's past life as an idol is one of many things that cause him quite a lot of embarrassment and grief. it's pretty plausible he'd drag himself out of his coma-like sleep just to turn off a song.

iwata's voice rises then, and nisaka turns just in time to see the cheery old man greet another pair of customers wander in. when he looks back, his eyes fall first to the flutter of hands across the table. he feels his own twitch over his knees, suppressing the urge to reach out and calm them. ]

I was supposed to have one tomorrow, but Watabe said he would cover for me.

[ Honestly when Kuroo heard about the early shifts Nisaka had to do the first time round he didn't believe it, the second time he felt not for the first time that although the camp he'd been accepted into was a pretty big deal and would do excellent things for his team and for his own personal gain, that he'd much rather be at home experiencing his best friend flourishing in new and interesting ways that Kuroo had previously never thought possible. It's like the Nisaka sitting in front of him is more grown up, somehow, or simply just different in a way that Kuroo hasn't experienced alongside him. It makes him feel weird.

But luckily Nisaka's explanation makes him laugh so hard that he forgets all about the nights he'd spent unable to sleep, petrified that the miles that lay between him and Nisaka might be mirrored in a strange distance to their relationship once he got back.. ]

That's genius. [ He laughs, that horrible cackling laugh when something particularly nasty tickles him. ] I'm sure your mom loved hearing that through the walls, eh?

[ Kuroo twists the soy pot just a bit, so that the lip of the jug section is faced toward himself. Then he twists the chilli oil pot to match. ]

Watabe? Doesn't ring a bell. Does he go to our school, too?

[ nisaka doesn't feel any different. he knows far more than he cares to about the different types of coffee that can be made under five minutes' time, but as far as he's concerned, the person who's changed here is kuroo. his physical changes are just testament to that, each ab another reminder of a part of kuroo's life he can never quite reach.

he's happy for his friend, though. he always is. that kind of passion... he can only ever imagine what it must be like to care about something so much that he'd want to dedicate his entire life to it.

his answer comes first in an offhanded shake of his head. he leans a cheek against his hand, propping it up onto the table now. his other reaches out, absently turning the little jugs the other way around. giving kuroo a little more to do. ]

He moved here from the next town over, so he'll be starting this year.

[ Kuroo watches Nisaka so closely, has and always will, that even the slightest change to him seems monumental; His slightly too long hair is distracting in the way it curls and lies flat in certain places, the way it touches his shoulders and embraces his face more on either side.. His slight height increase, the subtle sight of muscle along his forearms presumably from lifting milk jugs or similar at work, even the slight shadow under his eyes that's amplified by that half lidded look he casts around.

Kuroo has always had a front row seat and has been able to study all these changes first hand... and now? The possibility that while he couldn't someone else did bothers him more than he cares to admit. More than he should admit. More than he wants to admit. ]

So he's just your coworker so far. Is he nice?

[ He hates himself for asking that. He doesn't want to know. ]

He must be if he agreed to take your shift.

[ He prays for Nisaka's bluntness now, to give Kuroo something to believe to stop this little green monster setting up shop in his stomach. ]

[ his finger lingers over the lip of the soy sauce pot, actually pausing over the question. he's had a few shared shifts with the other boy, shifts that he usually tried to keep mostly to himself. in a small cafe, however, that can be kind of hard, when lags between customers would get easily filled up by idle conversation, but nisaka can't recall any that had really stood out to him... just the sheer number of them, he supposes.

his nose wrinkles slightly. ]

He's friendly. [ which might be high praise coming from literally anybody else, but in nisaka's voice it sounds like something wearisome.

his finger begins to trace around the jug now, head leaning a little heavier on his hand. ]

In any case, it's not like it was a selfless favor. I'll probably have to cover one of his own shifts later.

[ "you owe me," watabe had joked. nisaka could only assume the accompanying wink meant at least another opening shift or two somewhere down the line. ]

[ Watching Nisaka fidget is strange. To Kuroo, it always seems like it's the pay off from his brain struggling to figure out what to say and what to keep for himself, the concentration needed so precise that his hands move absentmindedly. He can't be sure, of course, because no matter how well he knows Nisaka there are still some walls around him that even Kuroo's brute force can't break down, but that really is all part of the fun of it, for him.

He's trying not to relate the way Nisaka's head is resting on his hand, the way he idly toys with the lip of the jug, as anything other than boredom. He's desperately trying not to think of how at first glance it looks kind of wistful, kind of dreamy. He already doesn't like the sound of this guy, so instead of dragging things out and asking as many questions as he can so he can know everything like he normally would, he quickly changes the subject. ]

It's going to be weird going back to school. Two months felt like forever at camp, but now it feels like I've only been gone five minutes.

[ Oh, look at that, their food is conveniently arriving before Kuroo has the chance to get sappy. ]

[ the movements are idle, unconsciously mimicking the man in front of him. he'd noticed he'd begun to do it since kuroo had left, as if his body saw fit to fill in the void the taller boy had left behind. half the time, he doesn't even realize he's doing it. but the movements stop abruptly at kuroo's sudden shift in subject. he blinks a few times, lifting his head to glance over at him.

he takes too long to respond, brain sluggish to adjust. kuroo doesn't often brush things off, usually drilling and drilling and drilling until he managed to pick everything apart. maybe he doesn't like hearing about the cafe? his work? nisaka resolves not to bring it up again, if he can help it.

he nods to iwata who drops their food off with a happy chirp, shifting to sit a little straighter in his seat. his tonkatsu remains untouched for the time being. ]

Aren't you excited? You've been dreaming about being captain for years.

[ It's Kuroo's turn to rest his chin on a hand, mind wandering slightly from whats here and now, his other hand idly breaking apart his chopsticks with skilled and strong fingers. He normally makes a show of that one handed party trick but something, something green and twisted, has him distracted. ]

Thank you for the foooood.. [ He mumbles, stabbing his fish right in the face. ] Yeah, I'm excited. I feel like I need another month or two to prepare, but....

[ Ah, doubt doesn't suit him. He knows that. The last thing he wants to do is disappoint, and with so much hanging in the balance and so much weight on his shoulders, even the most sturdy of foundations might crack.. But then he looks up, giving Nisaka an almost dangerous grin as he shovels fish into his mouth. ]

It's a good thing I've been worked to the bone for two months. Now I know how to do it right.

[ it's not like nisaka hasn't been witness to that particular party trick enough times in his life, enough so that he has come to expect it. but that's not to say he doesn't miss the lack of flourish when it comes. it's strange... but not odd enough to warrant bringing up, he thinks. especially not when he starts to hear an unfamiliar tone in his best friend's voice, quickly taking up the rest of his attention. ]

You always have, [ he huffs, keeping kuroo's gaze for three, four seconds too long before he looks down. works his blunt thumbnail against the crease between his own chopsticks to break it with a lot less grandeur. he frowns a little at the splinters along the end of one stick, continuing to speak as he picks it clean. ]

You were practically born for volleyball. The only reason you weren't captain last year was because the third years wanted to send their oldest off respectfully. [ them's the facts, kuroo. ]

You'll be great. They're lucky to have you.

Edited 2018-03-09 20:10 (UTC)

[ He was.. talking about the brutality of a leader, about knowing a thing or two now about forcing his team through the meanest of tasks should they lose their practice matches, should they fail to improve their time, should they turn up late for practice.. But the way Nisaka speaks so clearly, so honestly, without any of the bluster he has when he talks about any kind of feelings, but all of the bluntness that's so Nisaka it's like taking breath after being submerged underwater.

His best friend really knows him well, and really it's quite amazing to know that out of everything Nisaka could choose to put his precious energy into, Kuroo is one of them. He smiles, bashful for a few moments and then as sleazy as ever. ]

Aww. That's sweet. [ He's probably ruining it for himself, but he has those words now locked somewhere safe in his head for later, for the first day back, for his first club meeting after classes. All his previous drawbacks are gone, even the little green monster is quietened. ] Thanks.

Edited 2018-03-09 20:44 (UTC)

[ nisaka has already broken eye contact by now, turned his attention towards his meal almost immediately after he'd spoken. he expects but still wrinkles his nose at kuroo's response. genuine as the gratitude may be, thickened with the saccharine tone teenage boys would tend to play up to prevent things from getting too sentimental. ]

Don't let your fish get cold, [ is all he says in response, already stabbing into his piece of breaded pork. ] That's the only one you're getting tonight.

[ Kuroo snickers under his breath, stuffing his face again like a happy cat getting treated to people food. If his legs weren't so long he'd probably be kicking them under the table as he sucks the salt from his chopsticks. ]

Sure, sure. I wouldn't dream of expecting any more from you. I know you wouldn't want me to get spoiled... Or fat.

[ Is that a comment on earlier, when Kuroo saw Nisaka getting... jealous? Looking, at the very least, at the hard work he's been doing over the summer. It might be. His expression goes pinched again as he smiles. ]

How's the food?

[ with kuroo watching so intently, he would be able to notice it: the slight flicker of nisaka's eyes as he pauses. drawing up towards the other boy, but pausing midway as if catching himself. the moment lasts only a second, maybe two, before movement shudders over his body again, jaw chewing patiently around his piece of pork before swallowing. ]

Good. As usual. [ he looks towards the side to see iwata wiping off a nearby table, humming softly to himself as he works. ]

Is this the first real meal you've had in months? [ he keeps his tone casual, but he is looking back at kuroo now. eyes never straying from his face. ] They must have been really strict in that camp to get you so, [ the briefest of pauses. barely a millisecond, ] prepared.