I was gonna save it, make it a big grand surprise, but...
[ But one thing led to another and he'd ended up kind of screaming this apartments existence in Nisaka's face when he'd appeared on the campus grounds and wandered into Kuroo's orientation group like it was the most natural thing he could have done. There had been lots of tears that day, lots of embarrassing questions he had to answer later on about harassing first years and had to promise in future to keep a professional air when representing the university... so he hopes that this will call for less tears. No promises, though.
He unlocks the door, then picks up the box at his feet and shoulders the door open. ]
It doesn't look like much now, because it's so bare, but it'll look good once we.. get everything in here.
[ Is Kuroo Tetsurou nervous? Is that anxiety matted in his features? It must be, because he's selling this place totally short. Sure, it doesn't have a fancy open plan living room or a large entrance-way, but the genkan is cosy, the hallway it leads into has wood flooring that shines, and opens into a decent sized living room with a small window showing a portion of the large kitchen (a must, when Kuroo was apartment hunting). There are another set of doors to the back of the apartment, close by the large window showing off the Tokyo cityscape, which house the bathroom and the laundry room, and a set of stairs in the corner that must lead to the bedroom. It's a nice apartment. Kuroo has worked hard these past few years, both in school and at his job and doing various promotional pieces for the volleyball leagues, and this is what it was all for. This, and the man standing next to him.
[ trust kuroo to one-up him again. and after nisaka had worked so hard to keep it all a secret — cramming for exams, applying to universities, waiting on said universities, keeping his acceptances to himself until he got that acceptance, and organizing his entire move all nary a peep to kuroo or his closest friends about it (barring his own mother and kenma, of course, because nisaka had to have some kind of help orchestrating all this).
it was so perfect, too. laying down all the foundation of is disinterest in university (which is still somewhat true, but he's found a new motivation to actually want to put in effort, if only so he can continue to keep up with kuroo and support him in his life), reading and listening to all of kuroo's sad, dismayed messages about it. making sure that kuroo would still commit to his responsibilities as a tour leader, timing it just so that he would fall into his group... the look of pure shock and joy at his boyfriend's face was worth every bump and hassle he'd come across in this journey, but then kuroo had to go and ruin it by being kuroo.
which in this case is everything amazing and good in the world.
nisaka still hasn't moved from his spot at the threshold, glancing around with wide, unblinking eyes. even now, standing here, seeing it for himself, he can't quite believe it's actually a thing. a beautiful apartment, just for the two of them.
eventually, he turns to the older man, throat dry. ]
[ Kuroo's skin is alight with nervous shivers, unable to even focus enough to put the box down where it belongs, instead just kind of standing there like a ball of energy ready to burst, eyes flicking from his boyfriend to the apartment and back again as if waiting for his approval. ]
...How? [ He blinks. ] You mean.. how did I get this? I.. saved. I got a job, that's why I couldn't see you as often. In the evenings I'd work. When I wasn't working I'd be practicing. When I had free time in class or between classes I'd catch up on studying I missed while at work, and those few advertisement campaigns I did photo shoots and interviews for helped. [ He drums his fingers on the box, his anxiety practically palpable now. ] And mom helped.
[ Little does Kuroo know that Kenma had let Nisaka's plan slip to her, and that she'd thrown in a little money to help with the deposit both to make her son happy and to ensure Nisaka didn't have to deal with the bitch basic apartment Kuroo had lived in during his first year.
[ it is, of course, only belatedly that nisaka actually notices the state kuroo is in. notices how tense he stands, body practically vibrating with anxious energy. how he looks at nisaka like he's got his whole heart in his hands, like any minute now it could shatter at just the slightest twitch of his fingers.
the sound he lets out is indescribable. like a laugh, or a scoff, but too watery to be air. ]
Of course..! Idiot... [ his head dips forward, caught by his hands that press against his eyes, shielding how his lips wobble, but not how his voice shakes. ] I didn't come all this way just to be apart from you again...!
[ he sounds mildly aggrieved, but that isn't it at all. kuroo had planned this. had worked hard for this, tirelessly, during all those times nisaka had gotten impudent about his lack of availability or his distraction. he wants to kick his past self for being so cruel, so selfish. he'd been so upset over the present, when all along kuroo had been working towards their future.
still... he hadn't thought it would be happening so soon. are they really allowed to be this happy...? ]
[ Kuroo almost drops the box in his hands at the sight of Nisaka pressing hands to his face, everything in him rocketing into mother hen mode, desperate to get his arms around his boyfriend to comfort him if he's about to cry. He's so distracted by it, so relieved at his admission, that he forgets all about his own worries. He carefully puts the box down on the floor (it's a moving-in present to them both from Kenma that he hasn't opened yet, and his life wouldn't be worth living if he broke it) and strides over to press Nisaka to his chest. ]
Sorry, sorry, I just- [ Don't cry, Kuroo, you overgrown baby, do not cry. ] I just had to check.
[ Nisaka does want to live with him. It sounds impossible but it's true. Him who meticulously pairs up his socks, him who has an expensive taste in garbage sportswear, him who rises early and makes smoothies loudly at 7am, who snores when he's drunk and sleeps with his head crammed between two pillows.. How did he get this lucky again? He tilts his head down, presses a kiss to the back of one of Nisaka's hands, and laughs a little.. a gentle push of air against his fingers. ]
Man, I've cried more in the past few days than I think I have my entire life.
[ the smaller boy practically crumbles into kuroo's arms when he's held, as if he'd been barely holding himself together in the first place. a few shuddering sounds escape him as his boyfriend speaks, all watery and embarrassing, but it's only when he feels the tentative kisses at his knuckles that he finally draws his hands away. face blotchy in spots of pink and red, long lashes wet with tears, blue-grey eyes glistening as they swim in them — somehow he still looks like he's starring in some kind of tv drama, but when he looks to kuroo all he sees is him. ]
That's because you're a giant softie, [ he murmurs, as if he isn't blubbering himself right this moment. his hands fit over kuroo's arms, keeping the man close. he bites down on his lip, finally cautiously glancing around them. his breath is held, not daring to really believe it all just yet. ]
[ Kuroo's breath is stolen by how Nisaka looks as he emerges from behind his hands. He's used to looking at him and being stunned by how naturally pretty he is, how beautiful he can be when he tries.. but this is different. No-one looks good when they cry, everyone looks snotty and blotchy and red around the eyes and their faces crease up... and Nisaka is no different, but.. There's just something about him that leaves Kuroo's chest empty in a rush of air; perhaps it's seeing such raw emotion on such a typically passive face, maybe it's seeing tears clinging to his long eyelashes that creates a sort of diamond effect in his eyes that dazzles that squishy part in Kuroo's heart, or maybe it's simply because he knows Nisaka is crying with happiness, because of him, that has him shocked into almost disbelieving silence.
He lifts a hand to Nisaka's face, thumb tracing over his cheek, wiping away some of the stray tears clinging there. ]
Yeah.
[ That question, though.. the way he looks around like he's afraid the tarp is going to be removed and reveal that this is all some cosmic joke, that he'd misunderstood.. that he's not allowed to feel this good, be this happy. It makes Kuroo's entire soul ache, and he tightens his hold on Nisaka with the one arm he still has around him. ]
It's happening. Because of you, and how I feel about you. I don't want to have to say goodbye anymore, I don't wanna wonder what you're doing, or worry about you when you're sick because I can't be there to look after you, or wake up in the middle of the night and have to check my phone just so I can look at you. I don't wanna spend one more day of my life doing anything unless I'm coming home to you afterwards.
[ It's a lot, he knows, but sometimes a lot is what's needed to make certain things sink in. ]
[ it is a lot, it's... it's so much more than nisaka ever thought he'd get. even mornings where he gets to wake up to kuroo, he always has to take a moment to realize it's real, it's happened and it's happening. some days he can't believe he's as happy as he is; it's a life he never thought someone like him would ever achieve...
and it's all because of the man in front of him. all because he decided to take a chance on a dumb boy like him.
he nods, nestling his cheek into the hand at his jaw. sniffling a few times, he shuffles closer to press against his chest, fitting himself there like he's learned to. ]
[ Nisaka's response, so small compared to his but with the same amount of truth and feeling to it, makes Kuroo smile in that childish and honest way he only does every so often, when he's smiling because he's happy right down to his core and not just amused or entertained. ]
Now you won't have to.
[ Now they'll be able to wake up together, go to sleep together, cook for each other (or rather, enjoy Kuroo's cooking together) and do all those little domestic things it's easy to roll eyes at, but which seem like luxuries Kuroo's softened heart has been denied for way too long now. ]
Hey, don't worry, you'll be sick of me in a week. [ His face creases into a grin at his own joke, though there's probably a little truth in it. He's all too aware of how annoying he can be, and simply counts himself lucky that Nisaka still wants to live with him regardless of having dealt with all his frustrating tendancies first hand.
He drops his hand so he can give Nisaka one last tight squeeze before reluctantly letting him go. They can't just stand here in the genkan with the door wide open all day, after all. ]
I'll admit, the last time I moved out I had two boxes and they were mostly full of clothes. [ But then, Kuroo's last place of residence had been an apartment almost fit for one person, with barely enough room to breathe. This, in comparison, is way bigger. ] And I'm not good at packing. Or unpacking.
[ suddenly bereft, nisaka turns to walk a little further into the space, just so he has something to do other than wander back over and tuck himself into the safe spaces in kuroo's arms. he trails an idle finger over the walls, the lightswitches, basically any surface within reach, looking around like he were in a museum. ]
We'll figure it out, [ he responds, tone delicate as if he were saying something reverent. we, we, we. nisaka wonders when he had started thinking in those terms.
he turns back to kuroo, eyes dropping down to the box he'd set aside. ]
[ His eyes follow Nisaka as he moves into the house, smiling mutely as he watches him reach out with wide spread fingers to touch the surfaces like he doesn't quite believe they're there. Maybe one day it'll sink in, Kuroo thinks, but then he can't help but hope it never will- that this feeling, this new and excited feeling, a feeling of belonging somewhere, of being stationary instead of looking for his next destination, will never leave either of them. ]
Oh. [ His reverie of just kind of gazing all love-struck after Nisaka, basking in the we of that reply, is broken when his attention is directed back to the box ]. Yeah. It arrived at the school this morning.
[ He moves back over to it, picking it up carefully so he can lift it onto the nearby side table. It's clearly heavy, about the size of two shoe boxes stacked on top of one another, and has Kenma's messy writing scribbled across the top of it. One visible message by the postage directions says don't open this alone which.. is a little creepy, out of context, but to be expected from Kenma.
Kuroo glances at Nisaka, smiles again like an excited child, and whips out his key to trail it down the side and break open the parcel tape. Once the parcel is open, Kuroo takes out a note from the top. Underneath is a speaker system, made to play CDs and to serve as a docking station for a phone, and the first thing Kuroo notices about it is that it looks expensive. His eyebrows raise, his cheeks warming a little because Kenma is definitely not the type for grand gestures such as this.. and tentatively, he opens the note. ]
....
[ He reads it, reads it again, and that flush to his face goes red hot in a matter of seconds. He thrusts the note at Nisaka and kind of crumples a bit, leaning against the wall nearest to them with his head in his hands.
The note, should Nisaka choose to read it, contains the following: ]
[ at first, nisaka doesn't get it. it's evident in the way his brow furrows, eyes trailing over the short note once, then twice, and once more just to be sure. like kuroo, he's caught by the value of the sound system, and so he doesn't understand why kenma would spend so much money on people he's never even met...
it's only when he looks up to kuroo that it clicks in his mind. the blushing face (mostly covered now, but not the tips of his ears), the face in hands... and, just like that, his own face floods with blood, the note flung from his hand as if it had burned him. he makes a brief, sputtering sound, reaching over to tug the parcel closed once more. all too vividly, nisaka is taken back to all those times (too.. many times, really...) he and kuroo had slipped away while among their friends to, ah, bond. they had been so certain they were being sneaky enough, or at the very least quiet enough but now he's made to wonder just how true that is...
no no, he can't get caught up in that now. his hands ball into fists at his sides, huffy as he turns back to kuroo. ]
What are you so embarrassed about? It's your fault!
[ if you didn't fuck him so good maybe he wouldn't be making such a racket all the time... you monster... ]
[ Nisaka is too sexy for Kuroo to resist fucking him so good, so this definitely isn't all on Kuroo.
Normally he wouldn't care all that much about friends being on to his less than private sexual activity with his boyfriend - normally he'd even be proud - but Kenma is a ruthless little creature hiding behind a plain expression and a timid manner. With Kuroo he's vicious, and given enough taunting he can be dangerous with the things he knows about Kuroo. He could tell his Mom, which is probably the eventuality that frightens him the most. With this note and gift Kenma is both showing he cares and showing that, even though they live hours apart now, he still has Kuroo by the balls.
Kuroo makes a pathetic whining noise, letting his head fall back onto the wall for a moment before he's pushing himself up and plodding over to Nisaka like an upset toddler. He curls around him, long arms wrapping around his neck like a scarf while his head pillows against his shoulder, fluffy hair tickling the side of his face. ]
Now I can't ask you if you wanna see the bedroom without sounding like a pervert... [ He whines again, against Nisaka's throat where his lips have found a home. ]
[ nisaka provides a sturdy enough support for kuroo's dramatics, locking his knees so that they both don't tumble over. he sighs, breath ruffling kuroo's hair just above his ear, and idly slips his hands along his boyfriend's back, fingers tracing the dips and bends of the muscles there before settling behind his shoulders. ]
You are a pervert, [ he says, not unkindly, but rather matter-of-factly. he stays silent for a few moments, before graciously admitting: ] But I suppose I don't really mind it.
[ Kuroo's hands press against Nisaka's shoulders and arms, and not for the first time it registers with him how much Nisaka has grown during their time together; not just emotionally, but physically too. He's taller, broader, more filled out though only from maturing and not from any of the ridiculous work outs like the ones Kuroo does. He's still slim, slender, attractive in how soft his lines and angles are, but he's definitely different from the bird-boned figure he used to be.
Distracted, momentarily, by considering this and allowing himself to get a little emotional about it, he doesn't even respond to being called a pervert (not that he could because, duh), but he does catch Nisaka's admission, which makes him smile. He drops his hands, wrapping them around Nisaka's waist instead, and presses a wet kiss under his ear while giving him a tight squeeze. ]
You love it~ You can't lie to me~ [ He says before drawing back a bit, enough that he can look at Nisaka but not enough that he has to let go of his waist. It's a little awkward, due to their height difference, but Kuroo doesn't have a problem stooping a bit. In fact he kind of thinks it's funny to exaggerate it. ]
Uhhh, six if you count the genkan and hallway. [ He tilts his head. ] Why?
[ he had grown, and a part of him bemoans that most of that growing had happened during their year apart. he had hoped the few extra inches he'd achieved would have evened them out somewhat, but apparently kuroo is competitive in all forms, regardless of practically, and easily surpassed the number of inches he managed to garner. so meeting his eyes now, close as they are, is an endeavor on his spine, on his neck, tilted back enough that he may as well be dipped at this point.
i love you, he almost says, again, but he's quick to squash that down, again, instead meeting kuroo's question with a faint shrug. too casual to be genuine. ]
I just wanted to know how tired I would be.
[ he looks away suddenly, expression both bashful and coy. speaking of perversion, perhaps it's alarming that between the two of them, nisaka is the one to consider the age-old practice between couples of christening every room first. ]
[ Kuroo cocks an eyebrow at that comment, confused for a moment as to what Nisaka could possibly mean - was he talking about unpacking, decorating, something to do with having to tidy all the rooms while doing housework? Kuroo is right in the middle of squashing down sinful thoughts about maids... Nisaka... Nisaka in a maids d- then he gets it. ]
Oh. Oh! Ohhh, I get it.
[ His hands pull Nisaka a little closer, expression going sleazy, almost encouraged by Nisaka's coy expression. He even ducks his head, presses a little line of kisses along his jaw, chuckling against his skin. ]
Aren't you supposed to wait till all the rooms are furnished to christen them? I don't have a couch tucked in my back pocket, you know.
[ kuroo pls... the fact that it takes his boyfriend as long as it does to get there only makes nisaka that much more embarrassed for having thought of it in the first place. clearly kuroo has made him into some kind of hedonist!! ]
Does it matter? We've done it in more uncomfortable surfaces than just the floor.
[ his voice comes out in a murmur, shifting as if to pull away from those kisses, though the movement itself just bares more of his neck for the other to do what he likes with it.
(also there is a dirty joke here about having a couch tucked into his front pocket, heh. —god, kuroo really has ruined him, hasn't he?)
anyway, he curls his hands around the front of kuroo's shirt, tugging faintly. time to get back into focus. ]
[ Kuroo's lips are straying down Nisaka's pulse, getting much too carried away with the amount of skin that's being offered up for his hunger to devour-- But then Nisaka pulls at his shirt and he actually has to hold in a whine at the reminder that they still have an apartment to move into, rooms to explore, and Kuroo still has a surprise waiting for him upstairs. ]
Alright, alright. [ He steps back until he can stand up straighter, hands falling away until only one is left, fingers lacing into Nisaka's as he kicks off his shoes against the lip of the entranceway. ] So.. Living room. [ He pulls Nisaka after him, turning into the first room at the end of the corridor. It's bare, there's no couch or table yet, but there is a TV dumped in the corner and a box full of textbooks by the far wall. ] The view makes it, though.
[ He nudges Nisaka over to it, then winds his arms around his middle, hugging him from behind with his chin on his shoulder as they both look out over the midday Tokyo sky. ]
[ even more surprises? kuroo really doesn't like to lose, hmph. ]
Wow...
[ it's fortunate that kuroo should stand behind him, arms wrapped firmly. it keeps him steady, keeps him from feeling light on his feet like he were floating. he doesn't know if he's ever seen a view like this. it seems all too surreal that this is going to be the view he comes home to every day.
unable to help himself, he leans forward slightly to press his hands against the glass, trying to see more than a casual look will grant him. a place like this, with a view like this... it definitely isn't cheap. and kuroo got it, worked hard for it. just for them. ]
[ It's painfully endearing to watch Nisaka be so in awe of the view, and it is very breathtaking... ]
It's not the best. [ Kuroo, please..... ] I wanted something with a clearer view, but anything not blocked off by the skyscrapers was more than I could afford. So we have to put up with those two putting us in shadow. [ He wafts a hand at the two large office buildings off to the side of their window. They're not really that badly in view, but apparently it matters to real estate. ]
Anyway, [ He presses a kiss to Nisaka's cheek.. the same cheek he'd kissed the first time they'd met... and then wanders off in the direction of the two little rooms to the side of the window. ] Laundry room, bathroom.. [ He says as he pushes both doors open. They're standard, pretty plain, so he doesn't really feel like they need any kind of heightened attention. Then.. he moves toward the stairs in the corner. ] The bedroom is up here.
[ He reaches out his hand, expression going a little tentative, perhaps nervous for a moment as he waits for Nisaka to take it. He's not worried about the contact, but maybe its the fact that this will be the room in the house thats teh most important to them that's weighing a little heavy on him.
The room is like an attic bedroom, the roof sloped but still managing to appear tall. There's a round window off to one side, letting in a decent amount of sunlight that illuminates a large bed with soft white sheets and pillows, and a box that sits on the comforter. The wardrobe door is open, showing its empty insides. ]
Mom has a thing about empty wardrobes. They're bad luck and all that. I figured we should have something to put in there.
[ Inside the box is a soft woolen scarf, dark blue, the kind of color that reminds Kuroo of winter and of the first time the met. ]
[ it is purely nisaka's awe that keeps his mouth quiet, tongue dull. kuroo isn't often modest (in fact, it is a very rare occurrence, as many of his friends and family will attest), but when he is, it is always when he deserves praise the most. an apartment like this? right out of graduation, in a city like tokyo? it is not nothing, and it is not something nisaka will so easily gloss over.
less so when kuroo finally takes him upstairs, shows him the little space that will soon be theirs and theirs alone, where they will rise and fall every morning and every day, wrapped up in each other. the tentativeness that kuroo speaks with, the shy little looks he keeps giving nisaka — it makes his heart ache, to think that even now, his boyfriend would still be so nervous, as if convinced he might still be able to ruin this somehow...
his lips purse as his eyes settle on the scarf, all in an attempt to keep them still. as a result, it is his hands that quiver, but he stills them in tight fists at his sides. ]
...You really thought a lot about this. About — us.
[ it's there, in every nook and cranny of their quiet little apartment. still so bare, but already so them, and he knows, he just knows that that's what kuroo was thinking when he bought this in the first place. he's thought about it all.
nisaka looks to his boyfriend now, eyes wide and searching. he feels it bubbling in his chest, like water, like waves, filling him up, wanting to spill out but there's so much, he feels like he's drowning, ]
Kuroo...
[ no. no, that's not right. he keeps trying to tread the water, keep his head above the surface, ]
[ Kuroo feels like he does when he's waiting for the whistle to blow signalling the start of a match, like he's ready to pounce and about to throw up all at the same time. It's been a very long time coming at this point, months and months of preparations and agonising over tiny details and fretting over ifs and whats, all leading up to this moment where he finally hears Nisaka's verdict on these choices he's made all by himself, about them, their future together...
That's why, when he hears Nisaka speak up, sound so amazed by what he's done, he almost lets out a breathless laugh. Of course he thought a lot about this, how could he not have? Every minute of his day seems to focus on Nisaka lately, every moment caught up on thoughts of how to get closer to a time when Nisaka is more than just a thought, a memory... on how to get closer to this.
And then he hears his name, his given name, his first name, and then that sound, the sight of Nisaka's lips forming those words... Kuroo almost chokes.
He's known, of course, all along.. just as he's certain Nisaka has known that he feels the same way for him, but it's never been right, the situation always too hectic or fleeting... but now, in what will soon be their home together, in the bedroom they'll make their own, in the bed they'll unmake, in the sun that will greet them every morning instead of the glare of a phone screen.. Nisaka is here, tangible, close and offering himself to Kuroo entirely, even this part of him that Kuroo knows is more precious to him than it might be for other people. ]
Yeah. [ He sounds breathless as he reaches out a hand, reaches for Nisaka, ends up only meeting his shirt hem, and holds it in an almost childish way. ] I know. [ A pause, a weighty one, but a happy one. All of that tentativeness gone as he settles in this pure, honest moment where he can finally let this thing out into the open, get it off his chest. He smiles. ]
[ it had been there, both heavy and light on his tongue that curls around each syllable like hands holding something precious. words ready to spring out and finally be heard by the ears they were meant for, and not the quiet dark of his bedroom when their phone conversations have long since ended, and loneliness is all the company he has left.
somehow it is both fitting and right that kuroo beats him to it, ever the competitive one, but they are both winners here, aren't they? two lucky souls who happened on each other by accident, despite all nisaka had done (subconsciously or not) in an attempt to sabotage them.
so he laughs, a watery, bubbling sound. his hands fly up again, pressing against his eyes. ]
Idiot — don't speak for me..!
[ there's no helping it, the tears keep flowing again, and not for the first time he wonders when he had begun to feel quite as much as he does now. it's all so intense, it's almost scary, but he thinks it would be far scarier without it.
but he tears his hands away soon enough, all so he can glare through the tears at his boyfriend. this stupid, ridiculous, beautiful man who's carved a home in his heart. ]
I love you, Tetsurou. [ he says it now. he says it because he can, because he's been waiting to, because the hands he's thrusting them into have been open and waiting for them for so long, perhaps even longer than he even knows. ]
[ Again Kuroo finds himself a little breath-taken by the sheer emotion Nisaka is eminating. It's hard to compare the boy he'd met in that cafe, who'd acted as though Kuroo was an annoyance and used what little words he was willing to say to eradicate any lingering debts and sever ties before they'd even been made, to the man who now stands before him with tears in his eyes and feelings so powerful they make him shout. Feelings for him some little part of Kuroo reminds himself, the part that encourages butterflies to flood his chest, the part of him that finally made him sign the papers for this place, the part of him that is surely to blame for the tears suddenly running down his cheeks.
He isn't even really aware he's crying - he's not sad, and there's no racking sobs that come with it... he's just standing there, silently crying, a look of stunned silence on his face.
He knew it was coming, of course, but there's something about hearing it for himself, hearing Nisaka say it once and then again, shout it clearly so Kuroo has no choice but to hear and believe it, to watch that mouth that's been so reserved, so quiet, so vicious, say something that breaks and mends and then breaks Kuroo's heart in a handful of seconds.. There's something indescribable about it, something that not even the Nisaka in Kuroo's fantasies could hold a candle to.
While Kuroo is a very confident guy in all areas of his life, there are still some things that make him nervous, that give him enough pause that he could consider himself intimidated by them... and one of those things, surprisingly, happens to be relationships. He understands them because he's had a decent amount of exposure to them, and has enough common sense, patience and is perceptive enough to put factors together and come out with a decent estimation of how he should handle himself, what actions would elicit the best reactions from his partner... But being with someone like Nisaka, someone who makes him forget the periodic table and how to perform a dump shot and sometimes even his name... Being with someone like that changes things, shakes them up, makes them interesting and unexpected and exciting, and while Kuroo wouldn't change an inch of it for the world, it puts him in a vulnerable position, and a rare one; one where he doesn't have the upper hand.
He has no idea how fast or how slow they should be going, he has no idea if I love you is something they should be saying now, he has no idea if he's even at a point in his life where he's a decent enough person to be worthy of anything like love, anything like the feeling that makes someone like Nisaka cry... but even if he's not, the sight of it makes him want to be, and that's good enough for him.
He laughs - because of course he does - relieved and excited and overwhelmingly happy all at once, swooping forward to press his grinning mouth against Nisaka's, then his cheek, then his chin, his jaw, his ear. ]
Say it again. [ He's not going to stop kissing him either, and holds him tight so he can't wriggle away. ] C'mon. Say it again.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
i hope this is okay...!
[ But one thing led to another and he'd ended up kind of screaming this apartments existence in Nisaka's face when he'd appeared on the campus grounds and wandered into Kuroo's orientation group like it was the most natural thing he could have done. There had been lots of tears that day, lots of embarrassing questions he had to answer later on about harassing first years and had to promise in future to keep a professional air when representing the university... so he hopes that this will call for less tears. No promises, though.
He unlocks the door, then picks up the box at his feet and shoulders the door open. ]
It doesn't look like much now, because it's so bare, but it'll look good once we.. get everything in here.
[ Is Kuroo Tetsurou nervous? Is that anxiety matted in his features? It must be, because he's selling this place totally short. Sure, it doesn't have a fancy open plan living room or a large entrance-way, but the genkan is cosy, the hallway it leads into has wood flooring that shines, and opens into a decent sized living room with a small window showing a portion of the large kitchen (a must, when Kuroo was apartment hunting). There are another set of doors to the back of the apartment, close by the large window showing off the Tokyo cityscape, which house the bathroom and the laundry room, and a set of stairs in the corner that must lead to the bedroom. It's a nice apartment. Kuroo has worked hard these past few years, both in school and at his job and doing various promotional pieces for the volleyball leagues, and this is what it was all for. This, and the man standing next to him.
Shame he looks like he's about to throw up. ]
im dyyyyinggg
;v;
...How? [ He blinks. ] You mean.. how did I get this? I.. saved. I got a job, that's why I couldn't see you as often. In the evenings I'd work. When I wasn't working I'd be practicing. When I had free time in class or between classes I'd catch up on studying I missed while at work, and those few advertisement campaigns I did photo shoots and interviews for helped. [ He drums his fingers on the box, his anxiety practically palpable now. ] And mom helped.
[ Little does Kuroo know that Kenma had let Nisaka's plan slip to her, and that she'd thrown in a little money to help with the deposit both to make her son happy and to ensure Nisaka didn't have to deal with the bitch basic apartment Kuroo had lived in during his first year.
Kuroo swallows. ]
You-- You do want to move in, right?
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the sound he lets out is indescribable. like a laugh, or a scoff, but too watery to be air. ]
Of course..! Idiot... [ his head dips forward, caught by his hands that press against his eyes, shielding how his lips wobble, but not how his voice shakes. ] I didn't come all this way just to be apart from you again...!
[ he sounds mildly aggrieved, but that isn't it at all. kuroo had planned this. had worked hard for this, tirelessly, during all those times nisaka had gotten impudent about his lack of availability or his distraction. he wants to kick his past self for being so cruel, so selfish. he'd been so upset over the present, when all along kuroo had been working towards their future.
still... he hadn't thought it would be happening so soon. are they really allowed to be this happy...? ]
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Sorry, sorry, I just- [ Don't cry, Kuroo, you overgrown baby, do not cry. ] I just had to check.
[ Nisaka does want to live with him. It sounds impossible but it's true. Him who meticulously pairs up his socks, him who has an expensive taste in garbage sportswear, him who rises early and makes smoothies loudly at 7am, who snores when he's drunk and sleeps with his head crammed between two pillows.. How did he get this lucky again? He tilts his head down, presses a kiss to the back of one of Nisaka's hands, and laughs a little.. a gentle push of air against his fingers. ]
Man, I've cried more in the past few days than I think I have my entire life.
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That's because you're a giant softie, [ he murmurs, as if he isn't blubbering himself right this moment. his hands fit over kuroo's arms, keeping the man close. he bites down on his lip, finally cautiously glancing around them. his breath is held, not daring to really believe it all just yet. ]
This... Is this really happening?
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He lifts a hand to Nisaka's face, thumb tracing over his cheek, wiping away some of the stray tears clinging there. ]
Yeah.
[ That question, though.. the way he looks around like he's afraid the tarp is going to be removed and reveal that this is all some cosmic joke, that he'd misunderstood.. that he's not allowed to feel this good, be this happy. It makes Kuroo's entire soul ache, and he tightens his hold on Nisaka with the one arm he still has around him. ]
It's happening. Because of you, and how I feel about you. I don't want to have to say goodbye anymore, I don't wanna wonder what you're doing, or worry about you when you're sick because I can't be there to look after you, or wake up in the middle of the night and have to check my phone just so I can look at you. I don't wanna spend one more day of my life doing anything unless I'm coming home to you afterwards.
[ It's a lot, he knows, but sometimes a lot is what's needed to make certain things sink in. ]
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and it's all because of the man in front of him. all because he decided to take a chance on a dumb boy like him.
he nods, nestling his cheek into the hand at his jaw. sniffling a few times, he shuffles closer to press against his chest, fitting himself there like he's learned to. ]
I want this too... I'm tired of missing you.
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Now you won't have to.
[ Now they'll be able to wake up together, go to sleep together, cook for each other (or rather, enjoy Kuroo's cooking together) and do all those little domestic things it's easy to roll eyes at, but which seem like luxuries Kuroo's softened heart has been denied for way too long now. ]
Hey, don't worry, you'll be sick of me in a week. [ His face creases into a grin at his own joke, though there's probably a little truth in it. He's all too aware of how annoying he can be, and simply counts himself lucky that Nisaka still wants to live with him regardless of having dealt with all his frustrating tendancies first hand.
He drops his hand so he can give Nisaka one last tight squeeze before reluctantly letting him go. They can't just stand here in the genkan with the door wide open all day, after all. ]
I'll admit, the last time I moved out I had two boxes and they were mostly full of clothes. [ But then, Kuroo's last place of residence had been an apartment almost fit for one person, with barely enough room to breathe. This, in comparison, is way bigger. ] And I'm not good at packing. Or unpacking.
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We'll figure it out, [ he responds, tone delicate as if he were saying something reverent. we, we, we. nisaka wonders when he had started thinking in those terms.
he turns back to kuroo, eyes dropping down to the box he'd set aside. ]
Mail already?
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Oh. [ His reverie of just kind of gazing all love-struck after Nisaka, basking in the we of that reply, is broken when his attention is directed back to the box ]. Yeah. It arrived at the school this morning.
[ He moves back over to it, picking it up carefully so he can lift it onto the nearby side table. It's clearly heavy, about the size of two shoe boxes stacked on top of one another, and has Kenma's messy writing scribbled across the top of it. One visible message by the postage directions says don't open this alone which.. is a little creepy, out of context, but to be expected from Kenma.
Kuroo glances at Nisaka, smiles again like an excited child, and whips out his key to trail it down the side and break open the parcel tape. Once the parcel is open, Kuroo takes out a note from the top. Underneath is a speaker system, made to play CDs and to serve as a docking station for a phone, and the first thing Kuroo notices about it is that it looks expensive. His eyebrows raise, his cheeks warming a little because Kenma is definitely not the type for grand gestures such as this.. and tentatively, he opens the note. ]
....
[ He reads it, reads it again, and that flush to his face goes red hot in a matter of seconds. He thrusts the note at Nisaka and kind of crumples a bit, leaning against the wall nearest to them with his head in his hands.
The note, should Nisaka choose to read it, contains the following: ]
it's not for you. it's for your neighbours.
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[ Nisaka is too sexy for Kuroo to resist fucking him so good, so this definitely isn't all on Kuroo.
Normally he wouldn't care all that much about friends being on to his less than private sexual activity with his boyfriend - normally he'd even be proud - but Kenma is a ruthless little creature hiding behind a plain expression and a timid manner. With Kuroo he's vicious, and given enough taunting he can be dangerous with the things he knows about Kuroo. He could tell his Mom, which is probably the eventuality that frightens him the most. With this note and gift Kenma is both showing he cares and showing that, even though they live hours apart now, he still has Kuroo by the balls.
Kuroo makes a pathetic whining noise, letting his head fall back onto the wall for a moment before he's pushing himself up and plodding over to Nisaka like an upset toddler. He curls around him, long arms wrapping around his neck like a scarf while his head pillows against his shoulder, fluffy hair tickling the side of his face. ]
Now I can't ask you if you wanna see the bedroom without sounding like a pervert... [ He whines again, against Nisaka's throat where his lips have found a home. ]
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You are a pervert, [ he says, not unkindly, but rather matter-of-factly. he stays silent for a few moments, before graciously admitting: ] But I suppose I don't really mind it.
[ he hums, considering. then, oh so casually: ]
How many rooms does this apartment have?
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Distracted, momentarily, by considering this and allowing himself to get a little emotional about it, he doesn't even respond to being called a pervert (not that he could because, duh), but he does catch Nisaka's admission, which makes him smile. He drops his hands, wrapping them around Nisaka's waist instead, and presses a wet kiss under his ear while giving him a tight squeeze. ]
You love it~ You can't lie to me~ [ He says before drawing back a bit, enough that he can look at Nisaka but not enough that he has to let go of his waist. It's a little awkward, due to their height difference, but Kuroo doesn't have a problem stooping a bit. In fact he kind of thinks it's funny to exaggerate it. ]
Uhhh, six if you count the genkan and hallway. [ He tilts his head. ] Why?
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Oh. Oh! Ohhh, I get it.
[ His hands pull Nisaka a little closer, expression going sleazy, almost encouraged by Nisaka's coy expression. He even ducks his head, presses a little line of kisses along his jaw, chuckling against his skin. ]
Aren't you supposed to wait till all the rooms are furnished to christen them? I don't have a couch tucked in my back pocket, you know.
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Does it matter? We've done it in more uncomfortable surfaces than just the floor.
[ his voice comes out in a murmur, shifting as if to pull away from those kisses, though the movement itself just bares more of his neck for the other to do what he likes with it.
(also there is a dirty joke here about having a couch tucked into his front pocket, heh. —god, kuroo really has ruined him, hasn't he?)
anyway, he curls his hands around the front of kuroo's shirt, tugging faintly. time to get back into focus. ]
Show me around.
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Alright, alright. [ He steps back until he can stand up straighter, hands falling away until only one is left, fingers lacing into Nisaka's as he kicks off his shoes against the lip of the entranceway. ] So.. Living room. [ He pulls Nisaka after him, turning into the first room at the end of the corridor. It's bare, there's no couch or table yet, but there is a TV dumped in the corner and a box full of textbooks by the far wall. ] The view makes it, though.
[ He nudges Nisaka over to it, then winds his arms around his middle, hugging him from behind with his chin on his shoulder as they both look out over the midday Tokyo sky. ]
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Wow...
[ it's fortunate that kuroo should stand behind him, arms wrapped firmly. it keeps him steady, keeps him from feeling light on his feet like he were floating. he doesn't know if he's ever seen a view like this. it seems all too surreal that this is going to be the view he comes home to every day.
unable to help himself, he leans forward slightly to press his hands against the glass, trying to see more than a casual look will grant him. a place like this, with a view like this... it definitely isn't cheap. and kuroo got it, worked hard for it. just for them. ]
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It's not the best. [ Kuroo, please..... ] I wanted something with a clearer view, but anything not blocked off by the skyscrapers was more than I could afford. So we have to put up with those two putting us in shadow. [ He wafts a hand at the two large office buildings off to the side of their window. They're not really that badly in view, but apparently it matters to real estate. ]
Anyway, [ He presses a kiss to Nisaka's cheek.. the same cheek he'd kissed the first time they'd met... and then wanders off in the direction of the two little rooms to the side of the window. ] Laundry room, bathroom.. [ He says as he pushes both doors open. They're standard, pretty plain, so he doesn't really feel like they need any kind of heightened attention. Then.. he moves toward the stairs in the corner. ] The bedroom is up here.
[ He reaches out his hand, expression going a little tentative, perhaps nervous for a moment as he waits for Nisaka to take it. He's not worried about the contact, but maybe its the fact that this will be the room in the house thats teh most important to them that's weighing a little heavy on him.
The room is like an attic bedroom, the roof sloped but still managing to appear tall. There's a round window off to one side, letting in a decent amount of sunlight that illuminates a large bed with soft white sheets and pillows, and a box that sits on the comforter. The wardrobe door is open, showing its empty insides. ]
Mom has a thing about empty wardrobes. They're bad luck and all that. I figured we should have something to put in there.
[ Inside the box is a soft woolen scarf, dark blue, the kind of color that reminds Kuroo of winter and of the first time the met. ]
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That's why, when he hears Nisaka speak up, sound so amazed by what he's done, he almost lets out a breathless laugh. Of course he thought a lot about this, how could he not have? Every minute of his day seems to focus on Nisaka lately, every moment caught up on thoughts of how to get closer to a time when Nisaka is more than just a thought, a memory... on how to get closer to this.
And then he hears his name, his given name, his first name, and then that sound, the sight of Nisaka's lips forming those words... Kuroo almost chokes.
He's known, of course, all along.. just as he's certain Nisaka has known that he feels the same way for him, but it's never been right, the situation always too hectic or fleeting... but now, in what will soon be their home together, in the bedroom they'll make their own, in the bed they'll unmake, in the sun that will greet them every morning instead of the glare of a phone screen.. Nisaka is here, tangible, close and offering himself to Kuroo entirely, even this part of him that Kuroo knows is more precious to him than it might be for other people. ]
Yeah. [ He sounds breathless as he reaches out a hand, reaches for Nisaka, ends up only meeting his shirt hem, and holds it in an almost childish way. ] I know. [ A pause, a weighty one, but a happy one. All of that tentativeness gone as he settles in this pure, honest moment where he can finally let this thing out into the open, get it off his chest. He smiles. ]
I love you too.
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somehow it is both fitting and right that kuroo beats him to it, ever the competitive one, but they are both winners here, aren't they? two lucky souls who happened on each other by accident, despite all nisaka had done (subconsciously or not) in an attempt to sabotage them.
so he laughs, a watery, bubbling sound. his hands fly up again, pressing against his eyes. ]
Idiot — don't speak for me..!
[ there's no helping it, the tears keep flowing again, and not for the first time he wonders when he had begun to feel quite as much as he does now. it's all so intense, it's almost scary, but he thinks it would be far scarier without it.
but he tears his hands away soon enough, all so he can glare through the tears at his boyfriend. this stupid, ridiculous, beautiful man who's carved a home in his heart. ]
I love you, Tetsurou. [ he says it now. he says it because he can, because he's been waiting to, because the hands he's thrusting them into have been open and waiting for them for so long, perhaps even longer than he even knows. ]
I love you!
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He isn't even really aware he's crying - he's not sad, and there's no racking sobs that come with it... he's just standing there, silently crying, a look of stunned silence on his face.
He knew it was coming, of course, but there's something about hearing it for himself, hearing Nisaka say it once and then again, shout it clearly so Kuroo has no choice but to hear and believe it, to watch that mouth that's been so reserved, so quiet, so vicious, say something that breaks and mends and then breaks Kuroo's heart in a handful of seconds.. There's something indescribable about it, something that not even the Nisaka in Kuroo's fantasies could hold a candle to.
While Kuroo is a very confident guy in all areas of his life, there are still some things that make him nervous, that give him enough pause that he could consider himself intimidated by them... and one of those things, surprisingly, happens to be relationships. He understands them because he's had a decent amount of exposure to them, and has enough common sense, patience and is perceptive enough to put factors together and come out with a decent estimation of how he should handle himself, what actions would elicit the best reactions from his partner... But being with someone like Nisaka, someone who makes him forget the periodic table and how to perform a dump shot and sometimes even his name... Being with someone like that changes things, shakes them up, makes them interesting and unexpected and exciting, and while Kuroo wouldn't change an inch of it for the world, it puts him in a vulnerable position, and a rare one; one where he doesn't have the upper hand.
He has no idea how fast or how slow they should be going, he has no idea if I love you is something they should be saying now, he has no idea if he's even at a point in his life where he's a decent enough person to be worthy of anything like love, anything like the feeling that makes someone like Nisaka cry... but even if he's not, the sight of it makes him want to be, and that's good enough for him.
He laughs - because of course he does - relieved and excited and overwhelmingly happy all at once, swooping forward to press his grinning mouth against Nisaka's, then his cheek, then his chin, his jaw, his ear. ]
Say it again. [ He's not going to stop kissing him either, and holds him tight so he can't wriggle away. ] C'mon. Say it again.
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