[ even more surprises? kuroo really doesn't like to lose, hmph. ]
Wow...
[ it's fortunate that kuroo should stand behind him, arms wrapped firmly. it keeps him steady, keeps him from feeling light on his feet like he were floating. he doesn't know if he's ever seen a view like this. it seems all too surreal that this is going to be the view he comes home to every day.
unable to help himself, he leans forward slightly to press his hands against the glass, trying to see more than a casual look will grant him. a place like this, with a view like this... it definitely isn't cheap. and kuroo got it, worked hard for it. just for them. ]
[ It's painfully endearing to watch Nisaka be so in awe of the view, and it is very breathtaking... ]
It's not the best. [ Kuroo, please..... ] I wanted something with a clearer view, but anything not blocked off by the skyscrapers was more than I could afford. So we have to put up with those two putting us in shadow. [ He wafts a hand at the two large office buildings off to the side of their window. They're not really that badly in view, but apparently it matters to real estate. ]
Anyway, [ He presses a kiss to Nisaka's cheek.. the same cheek he'd kissed the first time they'd met... and then wanders off in the direction of the two little rooms to the side of the window. ] Laundry room, bathroom.. [ He says as he pushes both doors open. They're standard, pretty plain, so he doesn't really feel like they need any kind of heightened attention. Then.. he moves toward the stairs in the corner. ] The bedroom is up here.
[ He reaches out his hand, expression going a little tentative, perhaps nervous for a moment as he waits for Nisaka to take it. He's not worried about the contact, but maybe its the fact that this will be the room in the house thats teh most important to them that's weighing a little heavy on him.
The room is like an attic bedroom, the roof sloped but still managing to appear tall. There's a round window off to one side, letting in a decent amount of sunlight that illuminates a large bed with soft white sheets and pillows, and a box that sits on the comforter. The wardrobe door is open, showing its empty insides. ]
Mom has a thing about empty wardrobes. They're bad luck and all that. I figured we should have something to put in there.
[ Inside the box is a soft woolen scarf, dark blue, the kind of color that reminds Kuroo of winter and of the first time the met. ]
[ it is purely nisaka's awe that keeps his mouth quiet, tongue dull. kuroo isn't often modest (in fact, it is a very rare occurrence, as many of his friends and family will attest), but when he is, it is always when he deserves praise the most. an apartment like this? right out of graduation, in a city like tokyo? it is not nothing, and it is not something nisaka will so easily gloss over.
less so when kuroo finally takes him upstairs, shows him the little space that will soon be theirs and theirs alone, where they will rise and fall every morning and every day, wrapped up in each other. the tentativeness that kuroo speaks with, the shy little looks he keeps giving nisaka — it makes his heart ache, to think that even now, his boyfriend would still be so nervous, as if convinced he might still be able to ruin this somehow...
his lips purse as his eyes settle on the scarf, all in an attempt to keep them still. as a result, it is his hands that quiver, but he stills them in tight fists at his sides. ]
...You really thought a lot about this. About — us.
[ it's there, in every nook and cranny of their quiet little apartment. still so bare, but already so them, and he knows, he just knows that that's what kuroo was thinking when he bought this in the first place. he's thought about it all.
nisaka looks to his boyfriend now, eyes wide and searching. he feels it bubbling in his chest, like water, like waves, filling him up, wanting to spill out but there's so much, he feels like he's drowning, ]
Kuroo...
[ no. no, that's not right. he keeps trying to tread the water, keep his head above the surface, ]
[ Kuroo feels like he does when he's waiting for the whistle to blow signalling the start of a match, like he's ready to pounce and about to throw up all at the same time. It's been a very long time coming at this point, months and months of preparations and agonising over tiny details and fretting over ifs and whats, all leading up to this moment where he finally hears Nisaka's verdict on these choices he's made all by himself, about them, their future together...
That's why, when he hears Nisaka speak up, sound so amazed by what he's done, he almost lets out a breathless laugh. Of course he thought a lot about this, how could he not have? Every minute of his day seems to focus on Nisaka lately, every moment caught up on thoughts of how to get closer to a time when Nisaka is more than just a thought, a memory... on how to get closer to this.
And then he hears his name, his given name, his first name, and then that sound, the sight of Nisaka's lips forming those words... Kuroo almost chokes.
He's known, of course, all along.. just as he's certain Nisaka has known that he feels the same way for him, but it's never been right, the situation always too hectic or fleeting... but now, in what will soon be their home together, in the bedroom they'll make their own, in the bed they'll unmake, in the sun that will greet them every morning instead of the glare of a phone screen.. Nisaka is here, tangible, close and offering himself to Kuroo entirely, even this part of him that Kuroo knows is more precious to him than it might be for other people. ]
Yeah. [ He sounds breathless as he reaches out a hand, reaches for Nisaka, ends up only meeting his shirt hem, and holds it in an almost childish way. ] I know. [ A pause, a weighty one, but a happy one. All of that tentativeness gone as he settles in this pure, honest moment where he can finally let this thing out into the open, get it off his chest. He smiles. ]
[ it had been there, both heavy and light on his tongue that curls around each syllable like hands holding something precious. words ready to spring out and finally be heard by the ears they were meant for, and not the quiet dark of his bedroom when their phone conversations have long since ended, and loneliness is all the company he has left.
somehow it is both fitting and right that kuroo beats him to it, ever the competitive one, but they are both winners here, aren't they? two lucky souls who happened on each other by accident, despite all nisaka had done (subconsciously or not) in an attempt to sabotage them.
so he laughs, a watery, bubbling sound. his hands fly up again, pressing against his eyes. ]
Idiot — don't speak for me..!
[ there's no helping it, the tears keep flowing again, and not for the first time he wonders when he had begun to feel quite as much as he does now. it's all so intense, it's almost scary, but he thinks it would be far scarier without it.
but he tears his hands away soon enough, all so he can glare through the tears at his boyfriend. this stupid, ridiculous, beautiful man who's carved a home in his heart. ]
I love you, Tetsurou. [ he says it now. he says it because he can, because he's been waiting to, because the hands he's thrusting them into have been open and waiting for them for so long, perhaps even longer than he even knows. ]
[ Again Kuroo finds himself a little breath-taken by the sheer emotion Nisaka is eminating. It's hard to compare the boy he'd met in that cafe, who'd acted as though Kuroo was an annoyance and used what little words he was willing to say to eradicate any lingering debts and sever ties before they'd even been made, to the man who now stands before him with tears in his eyes and feelings so powerful they make him shout. Feelings for him some little part of Kuroo reminds himself, the part that encourages butterflies to flood his chest, the part of him that finally made him sign the papers for this place, the part of him that is surely to blame for the tears suddenly running down his cheeks.
He isn't even really aware he's crying - he's not sad, and there's no racking sobs that come with it... he's just standing there, silently crying, a look of stunned silence on his face.
He knew it was coming, of course, but there's something about hearing it for himself, hearing Nisaka say it once and then again, shout it clearly so Kuroo has no choice but to hear and believe it, to watch that mouth that's been so reserved, so quiet, so vicious, say something that breaks and mends and then breaks Kuroo's heart in a handful of seconds.. There's something indescribable about it, something that not even the Nisaka in Kuroo's fantasies could hold a candle to.
While Kuroo is a very confident guy in all areas of his life, there are still some things that make him nervous, that give him enough pause that he could consider himself intimidated by them... and one of those things, surprisingly, happens to be relationships. He understands them because he's had a decent amount of exposure to them, and has enough common sense, patience and is perceptive enough to put factors together and come out with a decent estimation of how he should handle himself, what actions would elicit the best reactions from his partner... But being with someone like Nisaka, someone who makes him forget the periodic table and how to perform a dump shot and sometimes even his name... Being with someone like that changes things, shakes them up, makes them interesting and unexpected and exciting, and while Kuroo wouldn't change an inch of it for the world, it puts him in a vulnerable position, and a rare one; one where he doesn't have the upper hand.
He has no idea how fast or how slow they should be going, he has no idea if I love you is something they should be saying now, he has no idea if he's even at a point in his life where he's a decent enough person to be worthy of anything like love, anything like the feeling that makes someone like Nisaka cry... but even if he's not, the sight of it makes him want to be, and that's good enough for him.
He laughs - because of course he does - relieved and excited and overwhelmingly happy all at once, swooping forward to press his grinning mouth against Nisaka's, then his cheek, then his chin, his jaw, his ear. ]
Say it again. [ He's not going to stop kissing him either, and holds him tight so he can't wriggle away. ] C'mon. Say it again.
[ it's silly, really. completely and utterly ridiculous that for that brief stretch of time between his heated declaration and kuroo's response, nisaka had actually felt a pang of fear, wondering if he shouldn't have said anything at all after all. it's especially dumb considering he's standing in an apartment kuroo had gotten all by himself for them, after having his thunder taken when kuroo beat him to saying i love you first.
still, that is definitely his heart in his throat when kuroo finally kisses along it, making his breath of relief stutter out in what might have been a sob, if he had any tears left to spare at that point. he can feel kuroo's mingling with his as he dots kisses all along his cheeks, his jaw. nisaka turns away as if to run from the kisses, but the grip he's got on kuroo's sleeves tell a different story. ]
Now you're just being greedy, [ he huffs, words with absolutely no sting to them. he holds out for all of ten seconds, before all of kuroo's wandering kisses finally get to him. his hands come up, catching kuroo's face between his palms, forcing the older man to draw back, look down at him.
at first his expression is pinched, a ready reprimand on his lips to implore him to stop...
but that expression only softens. something shy and bashful left in its place. ]
[ Kuroo doesn't look bothered in the slightest about being called greedy, because if loving the sound of Nisaka's voice saying those words in a way that leaves very little room for Kuroo's small insecurities to wriggle through and give him any reason for doubt is being greedy, then he's a proud glutton for it. He hasn't stopped smiling yet, even when Nisaka takes his cheeks in his hands, holds him still and looks at him, says it again so earnestly and honestly that Kuroo can feel a physical shudder run through him from how badly he wants to kiss him and kiss him and kiss him and never stop.. ]
I know. [ He says again, grin pinching a little tighter, but without a single trace of that teasing habit he's so well known for.. Instead it's full of genuine happiness, his eyes squeezing a little tigher like that might stop the tears clinging around his eyes, threatening to fall. ] I love you too.
[ Then he lowers his arms from Nisaka's waist to his ass and hikes him upwards with ease, lifting him for just a moment before turning and dumping him on the bed with a soft little laugh as he watches his small frame become surrounded by the soft sheets. He can't resist, even if he'd wanted to; he follows soon after, climbing over his boyfriend and pressing a slightly wet kiss to his mouth as they lay together on their bed. ]
[ he falls without any resistance, which would have been a wonderful metaphor for their love story, had it only been that smooth and easy. in a way, he supposes it was, for he can only count on one hand the number of times it had ever really gotten difficult, gotten truly scary. those times were, more often than not, his fault entirely. kuroo had always been the optimistic one, the one who dared to hope big for them both, and he knows it's entirely on kuroo's back that this relationship ever made it afloat.
it's why, when the older man finally pulls away from the kiss, that nisaka's hand finds the side of his face, tenderly memorizing every slope and line with his fingers, his eyes. it's why he can't stop looking at kuroo like his heart will burst at just the thought of him. why he has to bite down on a lip to keep from saying it, again and again, because he deserves to hear it, deserves to know just how much his hard work and perseverance has gotten them. thank you, i love you, thank you for loving me.
but he's said enough, hasn't he? they have their future to continue spilling words. he doesn't want to cry any more, not even happy tears, because he wants to laugh and shout and moan and sigh. he wants to fill this apartment with all the things they can share together. because they can. because they're letting themselves.
he glances up and around, stretching out his arms to spread against the bed. he's only ever had a twin-sized bed; the sheer size of it amazes him. ]
[ Kuroo gazes down at Nisaka as his fingers and eyes take him in as though he's trying to find something hidden in the lines of his face, or perhaps simply trying to remember every inch of him so that when he closes his eyes he still see him, recall every dip of his features, each perfect imperfection, all of it. Just like Kuroo does in those soft moments before Nisaka wakes up, when he's looking at his phone and Kuroo forgets how to do anything but watch him purse his lips as he types, burn it all into his mind so that when they're apart he can close his eyes, imagine what it would be like to have Nisaka sat beside him scowling at his phone or muttering something vicious..
With a rush, though, he realises that imagining is something he'll no longer have to do.. Now he can spend all his time treasuring the sight of his boyfriend just because he can, just because even after years of being together sometimes it's still hard to believe he's real, and his.
Kuroo pushes himself up a bit, sitting over Nisaka's hips and watching him as he stretches out. It's so cute that Kuroo is tempted to smother him with kisses again.. but he'll resist. For now. ]
Perhaps it's just that you're so small, kitten.
[ He teases, smile turning a little wicked as his hands dip down to press his fingertips against the small sliver of Nisaka's tummy that's peeked out from under his shirt as he lifted his arms. ]
[ he shivers at the touch, kuroo's fingers both cold and warm against his sensitive skin. unlike kuroo, he isn't all hard and firm under his shirt, more soft and lithe and so his skin is smooth, and his stomach concaves when he sucks in a breath. his hands come down out of reflex, slim fingers curling around each wrist as if to draw them back. but rather than push, he simply keeps hold, letting the pads of his fingers lightly stroke up along the equally sensitive skin where kuroo's pulse thumps steadily. ]
[ He hums approvingly when Nisaka starts tracing over his pulse, the feeling so slight but so good, and for a second Kuroo's fingers still in their progress... but soon his soft and warm middrift tempts him back, and his eyes flicker down once more.
Kuroo can watch as his fingers trace over the soft skin beneath him, how each pass of contact encourages a line of goose bumps in its wake, how Nisaka's stomach jerks away from the delicate touch like he's ticklish or shy.. He uses a finger to lift the shirt a little higher, till he's got all of his soft navel on show; pale skin lit up by the sunlight flooding the room and... ]
Gorgeous. [ It slips out, but he doesn't regret it. Instead he raises a hand, lifting one of Nisaka's with it, up to his lips and presses a kiss against the flat of his palm, never once looking away from his boyfriend. ] You're gorgeous.
[ he hums in the back of his throat, something soft and thoughtful. the sunlight filtering in catches on kuroo too, and from nisaka's vantage point he looks even more striking than usual — all sharp angles and contrasting shadows, emphasizing the hazy look in his eyes, the flecks of gold in each iris.
his hand shifts, moving to fit around the curve of a jaw instead, the pad of his thumb delicately tracing along the line of it, drifting further and further still towards the fold of that smile. as surprised as he can often be with his own happiness, every now and then he will feel more of a shock to realize he can make someone else this happy in turn. his hands were only ever used to holding something precious and temporary. precious in their temporary. ]
[ He loves it when Nisaka cups his face like this, like he's a rare treasure, something to be protected and cherished.. Kuroo hasn't been a stranger to people caring about him, but the way Nisaka looks at him in tender moments like this still takes his breath away no matter how many times he sees it. He doesn't need to hear that Nisaka loves him when he's looking to those eyes like this, because he can see it for himself.. He just hopes the way he looks back at him is even half as beautiful and meaningful a sight to see. ]
I don't need it to. [ Kuroo turns his head just a little so that he can press another kiss against the pad of Nisaka's finger. ] I'm right where I want to be.
[ His free hand trails up, running patterns across Nisaka's pale stomach - wide loops, swirls, soft pawing motions with all four fingers.. He wants to follow with his mouth, right up to Nisaka's collar bones and his jaw and then his mouth, but looking at him under him like this is so appealing that he's genuinely quite torn between what he wants more... ]
Sometimes I still can't believe this is real.. that you're real. Sometimes I manage to convince myself this has all been some elaborate hallucination and I'll wake up one morning and it'll have all been a dream. [ Fingers pass over the base of his ribs, pressing in just a little before slipping down to pet at his sides. His eyes are downcast, watching the progress of his hands on his boyfriend, and his voice is low pitched and slow, similar to how it gets when he's sleepy and honest. ] That's why I can never stop looking at you.. I can't stop thinking about how lucky I am.
[ every word kuroo says feels like a little seed burying deep into his chest, already ready to flower and blossom into a whole new reason to try, into further proof that the decisions he made to get here are the right ones. by the time kuroo finishes, nisaka feels warm and light and full, but wonderfully weightless when he sits up, aching to be even closer. ]
You did this, you know. [ voice soft but honest, eyes wide so that his boyfriend can see every fleck of truth and sincerity in them. ] All of this is because of you. Because you never gave up on me, on us. Because you taught me how to do the same.
That's why... please never stop looking at me.
[ he leans in, gently pressing a kiss to the corner of kuroo's lips. ]
[ Kuroo has never seen himself as anything like what Nisaka paints him as, but it's hard to be modest in the face of someone gazing at you like you're the only thing keeping them alive. He does fluster though, of course, a light pink color touching his cheeks as he looks helplessly back into Nisaka's eyes.
When he finishes speaking, its all Kuroo can do to press forward, to get his hands up onto Nisaka's shoulders to push him back, get closer and closer still, to crawl under his clothes, his skin and stay there basking in how this man makes him feel... how small, how delicate, and yet how unbeatable and brave.. When Nisaka's back hits the bed again Kuroo kind of curls up against him, tangling their legs together right to their ankles and toes, tucking his head in next to his, nose against the hair in front of his ear, lips brushing the shell. ]
You're the one who did it. You were brave enough to listen to me, really listen to me, instead of just chalking me up to be the idiot I act like. [ Thank you, his tone says, desperately. Thank you. ] I'm glad you didn't give up either.
[ the sunlight filtering into the room has begun to fall over where they lay now, leaving a thick strip of heat along their bodies. it is not quite as warm as kuroo himself, which nisaka finds to be incredibly fitting, as the man has become, more than once, the sun in his sky when it comes to a number of things in his life. but this back-and-forth can carry on for a while, he knows, so he will only leave it off with a soft sigh, both in exasperation and resignation.
one hand crawls up to curl around thick tufts of dark hair at kuroo's crown, lightly tugging. ]
You are an idiot, [ he murmurs, but not unkindly. ] Most people just say "thank you" when they're given a compliment, you know...
[ he smiles faintly, turning to lightly bop his nose against his boyfriend's. ]
[ Kuroo winces at the tug, but it's mostly dramatised because, ah.. Kuroo is weak to Nisaka showing that kind of physical comfort around him; it makes his insides soft, his heart burn warm, his blood surge as it struggles to decide which way to flood. He loves it, because it's something he would have never imagined possible from the tentative, bitter and scared boy Nisaka was before they became one.. one body, one heart, one pair of lungs that share breaths, share life-- Ah... ]
Yeah, I am. All yours. [ Kuroo leans forward to kiss that smile, then turns his chin up to kiss his nose. ] I've never been good at being polite, though. You should know that by now.
[ He pauses then, just for a second, before he tips his mouth down once more, pressing a lazy kiss against the pulse under Nisaka's ear. ]
You better watch your hands, though. You pull my hair like that again and I'll be the one making you say thank you..
[ it's a pulse that jumps under his kiss and stutters in response to his words. just like that, nisaka is flooded with a heady kind of warmth, dangerous in how intoxicating it can be. rather quickly, he runs through what he can of their day in his head, trying to make sure there wouldn't be anything important they'll be missing if they were to get a little, ah. distracted.
not too subtly, his hand combs through kuroo's hair some more. and while he doesn't quite tug just yet, his fingers play with strands to tease that he can, and at any time he wanted. ]
Ah, [ he sounds, casually thoughtful. ] Then should I make you say "please"?
[ Kuroo's tongue comes out like a snake, licking at his own lips before he trails it up that skipping pulse under hot skin.. He loves watching how easily he can light Nisaka up like this, make his hands cling and his blood surge.. He moves back, eyes fiery, watching Nisaka's face for those telltale signs of his resolve crumbling.
He doesn't have a single drawback about wasting a day away were they to spend an hour or two rolling around in their bed.. He'd mentioned christening every room, after all, and this one is already furnished, already waiting for them. Might as well start as you mean to go on.. ]
You can try. I already told you didn't I, kitten? [ His voice has dipped, his smile gone sharp. ] I've never been good at being polite.
[ it's a smile that goes straight to nisaka's dick, and he hates how obviously his body shudders in response. they'd barely done anything, and his body already warms, tingly in anticipation. ]
Your twenties is as good a time as any to learn some manners, I guess...
[ his hand creeps up between their bodies, fingers lightly tracing the edge of kuroo's waistband.
hm. they should have probably spared a bit more time opening and setting up kenma's gift. ]
[ The physical reactions of Nisaka's body are always what turns Kuroo on the most, the quickest, the most severely.. Nisaka has always been a little coy, quick to deny and even quicker to shy away from Kuroo's wandering hands - he's gotten better in recent years of course, but his body has always been something he's been unable to deny. No matter how much he claims otherwise, turns away or bites his lip, he's never been able to stop the arch of his back, the buck of his hips, or the flush of his skin that blossoms under Kuroo's touch.. Every shudder is like the truth Nisaka denied, and even now he's stopped denying it the pleasure Kuroo gets from it has only increased.
His breath hitches too, though it always does around his boyfriend, and his lip pulls back between his teeth, hips curving up to encourage Nisaka's hand onward.
... Though he doesn't think it's going to be that easy. ]
when kuroo's hips arch forward, nisaka's fingers dance away, always staying just barely within reach, the patterns he traces along his boyfriend's skin featherlight, teasing. his nails are just long enough, too, that when he does draw his hand further down, lightly dragging the blunt edge of one against the seam of kuroo's jeans creates enough of a friction that kuroo would be able to feel the faint reverberations... but only just barely.
as much as nisaka's body betrays him, kuroo's hides even less. ]
[ Kuroo is already well on his way to half hard, has been since Nisaka spoke about making him say please, and the application of tidy nails dragging across the ridged fabric of his jeans creates such a sensation that Kuroo is almost made breathless by it... That and the fact that Nisaka is shying away from touching him. It reminds him of their first time, of Nisaka struggling with his own want battling against his fears, tentative but desperate for more of Kuroo. It sets every one of his nerves on fire. ]
Nisaka.. [ He says, like he's warning him of something, but his dignity isn't afraid of a little beating. ] C'mon. Please.
[ nisaka knows it's impossible, but he swears he could feel the heat emanating from kuroo's cock, though he's willing to bet it's just his own thirst projecting. his breathing has certainly grown shallower upon hearing kuroo's throaty plea, and though his own cock begins to strain against his underwear in response, he resolves to resist, willing to risk it all for more. ]
Please what...? [ perhaps he is a little drunk off the power, too,the way he can get this mountain of a man to bend to his will. he turns his head slightly, just enough that he can drag the flat of his tongue along the inside of kuroo's wrist, nestled right beside his head. ]
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Wow...
[ it's fortunate that kuroo should stand behind him, arms wrapped firmly. it keeps him steady, keeps him from feeling light on his feet like he were floating. he doesn't know if he's ever seen a view like this. it seems all too surreal that this is going to be the view he comes home to every day.
unable to help himself, he leans forward slightly to press his hands against the glass, trying to see more than a casual look will grant him. a place like this, with a view like this... it definitely isn't cheap. and kuroo got it, worked hard for it. just for them. ]
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It's not the best. [ Kuroo, please..... ] I wanted something with a clearer view, but anything not blocked off by the skyscrapers was more than I could afford. So we have to put up with those two putting us in shadow. [ He wafts a hand at the two large office buildings off to the side of their window. They're not really that badly in view, but apparently it matters to real estate. ]
Anyway, [ He presses a kiss to Nisaka's cheek.. the same cheek he'd kissed the first time they'd met... and then wanders off in the direction of the two little rooms to the side of the window. ] Laundry room, bathroom.. [ He says as he pushes both doors open. They're standard, pretty plain, so he doesn't really feel like they need any kind of heightened attention. Then.. he moves toward the stairs in the corner. ] The bedroom is up here.
[ He reaches out his hand, expression going a little tentative, perhaps nervous for a moment as he waits for Nisaka to take it. He's not worried about the contact, but maybe its the fact that this will be the room in the house thats teh most important to them that's weighing a little heavy on him.
The room is like an attic bedroom, the roof sloped but still managing to appear tall. There's a round window off to one side, letting in a decent amount of sunlight that illuminates a large bed with soft white sheets and pillows, and a box that sits on the comforter. The wardrobe door is open, showing its empty insides. ]
Mom has a thing about empty wardrobes. They're bad luck and all that. I figured we should have something to put in there.
[ Inside the box is a soft woolen scarf, dark blue, the kind of color that reminds Kuroo of winter and of the first time the met. ]
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That's why, when he hears Nisaka speak up, sound so amazed by what he's done, he almost lets out a breathless laugh. Of course he thought a lot about this, how could he not have? Every minute of his day seems to focus on Nisaka lately, every moment caught up on thoughts of how to get closer to a time when Nisaka is more than just a thought, a memory... on how to get closer to this.
And then he hears his name, his given name, his first name, and then that sound, the sight of Nisaka's lips forming those words... Kuroo almost chokes.
He's known, of course, all along.. just as he's certain Nisaka has known that he feels the same way for him, but it's never been right, the situation always too hectic or fleeting... but now, in what will soon be their home together, in the bedroom they'll make their own, in the bed they'll unmake, in the sun that will greet them every morning instead of the glare of a phone screen.. Nisaka is here, tangible, close and offering himself to Kuroo entirely, even this part of him that Kuroo knows is more precious to him than it might be for other people. ]
Yeah. [ He sounds breathless as he reaches out a hand, reaches for Nisaka, ends up only meeting his shirt hem, and holds it in an almost childish way. ] I know. [ A pause, a weighty one, but a happy one. All of that tentativeness gone as he settles in this pure, honest moment where he can finally let this thing out into the open, get it off his chest. He smiles. ]
I love you too.
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somehow it is both fitting and right that kuroo beats him to it, ever the competitive one, but they are both winners here, aren't they? two lucky souls who happened on each other by accident, despite all nisaka had done (subconsciously or not) in an attempt to sabotage them.
so he laughs, a watery, bubbling sound. his hands fly up again, pressing against his eyes. ]
Idiot — don't speak for me..!
[ there's no helping it, the tears keep flowing again, and not for the first time he wonders when he had begun to feel quite as much as he does now. it's all so intense, it's almost scary, but he thinks it would be far scarier without it.
but he tears his hands away soon enough, all so he can glare through the tears at his boyfriend. this stupid, ridiculous, beautiful man who's carved a home in his heart. ]
I love you, Tetsurou. [ he says it now. he says it because he can, because he's been waiting to, because the hands he's thrusting them into have been open and waiting for them for so long, perhaps even longer than he even knows. ]
I love you!
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He isn't even really aware he's crying - he's not sad, and there's no racking sobs that come with it... he's just standing there, silently crying, a look of stunned silence on his face.
He knew it was coming, of course, but there's something about hearing it for himself, hearing Nisaka say it once and then again, shout it clearly so Kuroo has no choice but to hear and believe it, to watch that mouth that's been so reserved, so quiet, so vicious, say something that breaks and mends and then breaks Kuroo's heart in a handful of seconds.. There's something indescribable about it, something that not even the Nisaka in Kuroo's fantasies could hold a candle to.
While Kuroo is a very confident guy in all areas of his life, there are still some things that make him nervous, that give him enough pause that he could consider himself intimidated by them... and one of those things, surprisingly, happens to be relationships. He understands them because he's had a decent amount of exposure to them, and has enough common sense, patience and is perceptive enough to put factors together and come out with a decent estimation of how he should handle himself, what actions would elicit the best reactions from his partner... But being with someone like Nisaka, someone who makes him forget the periodic table and how to perform a dump shot and sometimes even his name... Being with someone like that changes things, shakes them up, makes them interesting and unexpected and exciting, and while Kuroo wouldn't change an inch of it for the world, it puts him in a vulnerable position, and a rare one; one where he doesn't have the upper hand.
He has no idea how fast or how slow they should be going, he has no idea if I love you is something they should be saying now, he has no idea if he's even at a point in his life where he's a decent enough person to be worthy of anything like love, anything like the feeling that makes someone like Nisaka cry... but even if he's not, the sight of it makes him want to be, and that's good enough for him.
He laughs - because of course he does - relieved and excited and overwhelmingly happy all at once, swooping forward to press his grinning mouth against Nisaka's, then his cheek, then his chin, his jaw, his ear. ]
Say it again. [ He's not going to stop kissing him either, and holds him tight so he can't wriggle away. ] C'mon. Say it again.
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still, that is definitely his heart in his throat when kuroo finally kisses along it, making his breath of relief stutter out in what might have been a sob, if he had any tears left to spare at that point. he can feel kuroo's mingling with his as he dots kisses all along his cheeks, his jaw. nisaka turns away as if to run from the kisses, but the grip he's got on kuroo's sleeves tell a different story. ]
Now you're just being greedy, [ he huffs, words with absolutely no sting to them. he holds out for all of ten seconds, before all of kuroo's wandering kisses finally get to him. his hands come up, catching kuroo's face between his palms, forcing the older man to draw back, look down at him.
at first his expression is pinched, a ready reprimand on his lips to implore him to stop...
but that expression only softens. something shy and bashful left in its place. ]
I love you.
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I know. [ He says again, grin pinching a little tighter, but without a single trace of that teasing habit he's so well known for.. Instead it's full of genuine happiness, his eyes squeezing a little tigher like that might stop the tears clinging around his eyes, threatening to fall. ] I love you too.
[ Then he lowers his arms from Nisaka's waist to his ass and hikes him upwards with ease, lifting him for just a moment before turning and dumping him on the bed with a soft little laugh as he watches his small frame become surrounded by the soft sheets. He can't resist, even if he'd wanted to; he follows soon after, climbing over his boyfriend and pressing a slightly wet kiss to his mouth as they lay together on their bed. ]
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it's why, when the older man finally pulls away from the kiss, that nisaka's hand finds the side of his face, tenderly memorizing every slope and line with his fingers, his eyes. it's why he can't stop looking at kuroo like his heart will burst at just the thought of him. why he has to bite down on a lip to keep from saying it, again and again, because he deserves to hear it, deserves to know just how much his hard work and perseverance has gotten them. thank you, i love you, thank you for loving me.
but he's said enough, hasn't he? they have their future to continue spilling words. he doesn't want to cry any more, not even happy tears, because he wants to laugh and shout and moan and sigh. he wants to fill this apartment with all the things they can share together. because they can. because they're letting themselves.
he glances up and around, stretching out his arms to spread against the bed. he's only ever had a twin-sized bed; the sheer size of it amazes him. ]
It's so big...
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With a rush, though, he realises that imagining is something he'll no longer have to do.. Now he can spend all his time treasuring the sight of his boyfriend just because he can, just because even after years of being together sometimes it's still hard to believe he's real, and his.
Kuroo pushes himself up a bit, sitting over Nisaka's hips and watching him as he stretches out. It's so cute that Kuroo is tempted to smother him with kisses again.. but he'll resist. For now. ]
Perhaps it's just that you're so small, kitten.
[ He teases, smile turning a little wicked as his hands dip down to press his fingertips against the small sliver of Nisaka's tummy that's peeked out from under his shirt as he lifted his arms. ]
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[ He hums approvingly when Nisaka starts tracing over his pulse, the feeling so slight but so good, and for a second Kuroo's fingers still in their progress... but soon his soft and warm middrift tempts him back, and his eyes flicker down once more.
Kuroo can watch as his fingers trace over the soft skin beneath him, how each pass of contact encourages a line of goose bumps in its wake, how Nisaka's stomach jerks away from the delicate touch like he's ticklish or shy.. He uses a finger to lift the shirt a little higher, till he's got all of his soft navel on show; pale skin lit up by the sunlight flooding the room and... ]
Gorgeous. [ It slips out, but he doesn't regret it. Instead he raises a hand, lifting one of Nisaka's with it, up to his lips and presses a kiss against the flat of his palm, never once looking away from his boyfriend. ] You're gorgeous.
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I don't need it to. [ Kuroo turns his head just a little so that he can press another kiss against the pad of Nisaka's finger. ] I'm right where I want to be.
[ His free hand trails up, running patterns across Nisaka's pale stomach - wide loops, swirls, soft pawing motions with all four fingers.. He wants to follow with his mouth, right up to Nisaka's collar bones and his jaw and then his mouth, but looking at him under him like this is so appealing that he's genuinely quite torn between what he wants more... ]
Sometimes I still can't believe this is real.. that you're real. Sometimes I manage to convince myself this has all been some elaborate hallucination and I'll wake up one morning and it'll have all been a dream. [ Fingers pass over the base of his ribs, pressing in just a little before slipping down to pet at his sides. His eyes are downcast, watching the progress of his hands on his boyfriend, and his voice is low pitched and slow, similar to how it gets when he's sleepy and honest. ] That's why I can never stop looking at you.. I can't stop thinking about how lucky I am.
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You did this, you know. [ voice soft but honest, eyes wide so that his boyfriend can see every fleck of truth and sincerity in them. ] All of this is because of you. Because you never gave up on me, on us. Because you taught me how to do the same.
That's why... please never stop looking at me.
[ he leans in, gently pressing a kiss to the corner of kuroo's lips. ]
I want you to see all the good you've done.
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When he finishes speaking, its all Kuroo can do to press forward, to get his hands up onto Nisaka's shoulders to push him back, get closer and closer still, to crawl under his clothes, his skin and stay there basking in how this man makes him feel... how small, how delicate, and yet how unbeatable and brave.. When Nisaka's back hits the bed again Kuroo kind of curls up against him, tangling their legs together right to their ankles and toes, tucking his head in next to his, nose against the hair in front of his ear, lips brushing the shell. ]
You're the one who did it. You were brave enough to listen to me, really listen to me, instead of just chalking me up to be the idiot I act like. [ Thank you, his tone says, desperately. Thank you. ] I'm glad you didn't give up either.
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one hand crawls up to curl around thick tufts of dark hair at kuroo's crown, lightly tugging. ]
You are an idiot, [ he murmurs, but not unkindly. ] Most people just say "thank you" when they're given a compliment, you know...
[ he smiles faintly, turning to lightly bop his nose against his boyfriend's. ]
You're my idiot, though.
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Yeah, I am. All yours. [ Kuroo leans forward to kiss that smile, then turns his chin up to kiss his nose. ] I've never been good at being polite, though. You should know that by now.
[ He pauses then, just for a second, before he tips his mouth down once more, pressing a lazy kiss against the pulse under Nisaka's ear. ]
You better watch your hands, though. You pull my hair like that again and I'll be the one making you say thank you..
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He doesn't have a single drawback about wasting a day away were they to spend an hour or two rolling around in their bed.. He'd mentioned christening every room, after all, and this one is already furnished, already waiting for them. Might as well start as you mean to go on.. ]
You can try. I already told you didn't I, kitten? [ His voice has dipped, his smile gone sharp. ] I've never been good at being polite.
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Your twenties is as good a time as any to learn some manners, I guess...
[ his hand creeps up between their bodies, fingers lightly tracing the edge of kuroo's waistband.
hm. they should have probably spared a bit more time opening and setting up kenma's gift. ]
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[ The physical reactions of Nisaka's body are always what turns Kuroo on the most, the quickest, the most severely.. Nisaka has always been a little coy, quick to deny and even quicker to shy away from Kuroo's wandering hands - he's gotten better in recent years of course, but his body has always been something he's been unable to deny. No matter how much he claims otherwise, turns away or bites his lip, he's never been able to stop the arch of his back, the buck of his hips, or the flush of his skin that blossoms under Kuroo's touch.. Every shudder is like the truth Nisaka denied, and even now he's stopped denying it the pleasure Kuroo gets from it has only increased.
His breath hitches too, though it always does around his boyfriend, and his lip pulls back between his teeth, hips curving up to encourage Nisaka's hand onward.
... Though he doesn't think it's going to be that easy. ]
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when kuroo's hips arch forward, nisaka's fingers dance away, always staying just barely within reach, the patterns he traces along his boyfriend's skin featherlight, teasing. his nails are just long enough, too, that when he does draw his hand further down, lightly dragging the blunt edge of one against the seam of kuroo's jeans creates enough of a friction that kuroo would be able to feel the faint reverberations... but only just barely.
as much as nisaka's body betrays him, kuroo's hides even less. ]
Beg for it.
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Nisaka.. [ He says, like he's warning him of something, but his dignity isn't afraid of a little beating. ] C'mon. Please.
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Please what...? [ perhaps he is a little drunk off the power, too,the way he can get this mountain of a man to bend to his will. he turns his head slightly, just enough that he can drag the flat of his tongue along the inside of kuroo's wrist, nestled right beside his head. ]
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