[ the smaller boy practically crumbles into kuroo's arms when he's held, as if he'd been barely holding himself together in the first place. a few shuddering sounds escape him as his boyfriend speaks, all watery and embarrassing, but it's only when he feels the tentative kisses at his knuckles that he finally draws his hands away. face blotchy in spots of pink and red, long lashes wet with tears, blue-grey eyes glistening as they swim in them — somehow he still looks like he's starring in some kind of tv drama, but when he looks to kuroo all he sees is him. ]
That's because you're a giant softie, [ he murmurs, as if he isn't blubbering himself right this moment. his hands fit over kuroo's arms, keeping the man close. he bites down on his lip, finally cautiously glancing around them. his breath is held, not daring to really believe it all just yet. ]
[ Kuroo's breath is stolen by how Nisaka looks as he emerges from behind his hands. He's used to looking at him and being stunned by how naturally pretty he is, how beautiful he can be when he tries.. but this is different. No-one looks good when they cry, everyone looks snotty and blotchy and red around the eyes and their faces crease up... and Nisaka is no different, but.. There's just something about him that leaves Kuroo's chest empty in a rush of air; perhaps it's seeing such raw emotion on such a typically passive face, maybe it's seeing tears clinging to his long eyelashes that creates a sort of diamond effect in his eyes that dazzles that squishy part in Kuroo's heart, or maybe it's simply because he knows Nisaka is crying with happiness, because of him, that has him shocked into almost disbelieving silence.
He lifts a hand to Nisaka's face, thumb tracing over his cheek, wiping away some of the stray tears clinging there. ]
Yeah.
[ That question, though.. the way he looks around like he's afraid the tarp is going to be removed and reveal that this is all some cosmic joke, that he'd misunderstood.. that he's not allowed to feel this good, be this happy. It makes Kuroo's entire soul ache, and he tightens his hold on Nisaka with the one arm he still has around him. ]
It's happening. Because of you, and how I feel about you. I don't want to have to say goodbye anymore, I don't wanna wonder what you're doing, or worry about you when you're sick because I can't be there to look after you, or wake up in the middle of the night and have to check my phone just so I can look at you. I don't wanna spend one more day of my life doing anything unless I'm coming home to you afterwards.
[ It's a lot, he knows, but sometimes a lot is what's needed to make certain things sink in. ]
[ it is a lot, it's... it's so much more than nisaka ever thought he'd get. even mornings where he gets to wake up to kuroo, he always has to take a moment to realize it's real, it's happened and it's happening. some days he can't believe he's as happy as he is; it's a life he never thought someone like him would ever achieve...
and it's all because of the man in front of him. all because he decided to take a chance on a dumb boy like him.
he nods, nestling his cheek into the hand at his jaw. sniffling a few times, he shuffles closer to press against his chest, fitting himself there like he's learned to. ]
[ Nisaka's response, so small compared to his but with the same amount of truth and feeling to it, makes Kuroo smile in that childish and honest way he only does every so often, when he's smiling because he's happy right down to his core and not just amused or entertained. ]
Now you won't have to.
[ Now they'll be able to wake up together, go to sleep together, cook for each other (or rather, enjoy Kuroo's cooking together) and do all those little domestic things it's easy to roll eyes at, but which seem like luxuries Kuroo's softened heart has been denied for way too long now. ]
Hey, don't worry, you'll be sick of me in a week. [ His face creases into a grin at his own joke, though there's probably a little truth in it. He's all too aware of how annoying he can be, and simply counts himself lucky that Nisaka still wants to live with him regardless of having dealt with all his frustrating tendancies first hand.
He drops his hand so he can give Nisaka one last tight squeeze before reluctantly letting him go. They can't just stand here in the genkan with the door wide open all day, after all. ]
I'll admit, the last time I moved out I had two boxes and they were mostly full of clothes. [ But then, Kuroo's last place of residence had been an apartment almost fit for one person, with barely enough room to breathe. This, in comparison, is way bigger. ] And I'm not good at packing. Or unpacking.
[ suddenly bereft, nisaka turns to walk a little further into the space, just so he has something to do other than wander back over and tuck himself into the safe spaces in kuroo's arms. he trails an idle finger over the walls, the lightswitches, basically any surface within reach, looking around like he were in a museum. ]
We'll figure it out, [ he responds, tone delicate as if he were saying something reverent. we, we, we. nisaka wonders when he had started thinking in those terms.
he turns back to kuroo, eyes dropping down to the box he'd set aside. ]
[ His eyes follow Nisaka as he moves into the house, smiling mutely as he watches him reach out with wide spread fingers to touch the surfaces like he doesn't quite believe they're there. Maybe one day it'll sink in, Kuroo thinks, but then he can't help but hope it never will- that this feeling, this new and excited feeling, a feeling of belonging somewhere, of being stationary instead of looking for his next destination, will never leave either of them. ]
Oh. [ His reverie of just kind of gazing all love-struck after Nisaka, basking in the we of that reply, is broken when his attention is directed back to the box ]. Yeah. It arrived at the school this morning.
[ He moves back over to it, picking it up carefully so he can lift it onto the nearby side table. It's clearly heavy, about the size of two shoe boxes stacked on top of one another, and has Kenma's messy writing scribbled across the top of it. One visible message by the postage directions says don't open this alone which.. is a little creepy, out of context, but to be expected from Kenma.
Kuroo glances at Nisaka, smiles again like an excited child, and whips out his key to trail it down the side and break open the parcel tape. Once the parcel is open, Kuroo takes out a note from the top. Underneath is a speaker system, made to play CDs and to serve as a docking station for a phone, and the first thing Kuroo notices about it is that it looks expensive. His eyebrows raise, his cheeks warming a little because Kenma is definitely not the type for grand gestures such as this.. and tentatively, he opens the note. ]
....
[ He reads it, reads it again, and that flush to his face goes red hot in a matter of seconds. He thrusts the note at Nisaka and kind of crumples a bit, leaning against the wall nearest to them with his head in his hands.
The note, should Nisaka choose to read it, contains the following: ]
[ at first, nisaka doesn't get it. it's evident in the way his brow furrows, eyes trailing over the short note once, then twice, and once more just to be sure. like kuroo, he's caught by the value of the sound system, and so he doesn't understand why kenma would spend so much money on people he's never even met...
it's only when he looks up to kuroo that it clicks in his mind. the blushing face (mostly covered now, but not the tips of his ears), the face in hands... and, just like that, his own face floods with blood, the note flung from his hand as if it had burned him. he makes a brief, sputtering sound, reaching over to tug the parcel closed once more. all too vividly, nisaka is taken back to all those times (too.. many times, really...) he and kuroo had slipped away while among their friends to, ah, bond. they had been so certain they were being sneaky enough, or at the very least quiet enough but now he's made to wonder just how true that is...
no no, he can't get caught up in that now. his hands ball into fists at his sides, huffy as he turns back to kuroo. ]
What are you so embarrassed about? It's your fault!
[ if you didn't fuck him so good maybe he wouldn't be making such a racket all the time... you monster... ]
[ Nisaka is too sexy for Kuroo to resist fucking him so good, so this definitely isn't all on Kuroo.
Normally he wouldn't care all that much about friends being on to his less than private sexual activity with his boyfriend - normally he'd even be proud - but Kenma is a ruthless little creature hiding behind a plain expression and a timid manner. With Kuroo he's vicious, and given enough taunting he can be dangerous with the things he knows about Kuroo. He could tell his Mom, which is probably the eventuality that frightens him the most. With this note and gift Kenma is both showing he cares and showing that, even though they live hours apart now, he still has Kuroo by the balls.
Kuroo makes a pathetic whining noise, letting his head fall back onto the wall for a moment before he's pushing himself up and plodding over to Nisaka like an upset toddler. He curls around him, long arms wrapping around his neck like a scarf while his head pillows against his shoulder, fluffy hair tickling the side of his face. ]
Now I can't ask you if you wanna see the bedroom without sounding like a pervert... [ He whines again, against Nisaka's throat where his lips have found a home. ]
[ nisaka provides a sturdy enough support for kuroo's dramatics, locking his knees so that they both don't tumble over. he sighs, breath ruffling kuroo's hair just above his ear, and idly slips his hands along his boyfriend's back, fingers tracing the dips and bends of the muscles there before settling behind his shoulders. ]
You are a pervert, [ he says, not unkindly, but rather matter-of-factly. he stays silent for a few moments, before graciously admitting: ] But I suppose I don't really mind it.
[ Kuroo's hands press against Nisaka's shoulders and arms, and not for the first time it registers with him how much Nisaka has grown during their time together; not just emotionally, but physically too. He's taller, broader, more filled out though only from maturing and not from any of the ridiculous work outs like the ones Kuroo does. He's still slim, slender, attractive in how soft his lines and angles are, but he's definitely different from the bird-boned figure he used to be.
Distracted, momentarily, by considering this and allowing himself to get a little emotional about it, he doesn't even respond to being called a pervert (not that he could because, duh), but he does catch Nisaka's admission, which makes him smile. He drops his hands, wrapping them around Nisaka's waist instead, and presses a wet kiss under his ear while giving him a tight squeeze. ]
You love it~ You can't lie to me~ [ He says before drawing back a bit, enough that he can look at Nisaka but not enough that he has to let go of his waist. It's a little awkward, due to their height difference, but Kuroo doesn't have a problem stooping a bit. In fact he kind of thinks it's funny to exaggerate it. ]
Uhhh, six if you count the genkan and hallway. [ He tilts his head. ] Why?
[ he had grown, and a part of him bemoans that most of that growing had happened during their year apart. he had hoped the few extra inches he'd achieved would have evened them out somewhat, but apparently kuroo is competitive in all forms, regardless of practically, and easily surpassed the number of inches he managed to garner. so meeting his eyes now, close as they are, is an endeavor on his spine, on his neck, tilted back enough that he may as well be dipped at this point.
i love you, he almost says, again, but he's quick to squash that down, again, instead meeting kuroo's question with a faint shrug. too casual to be genuine. ]
I just wanted to know how tired I would be.
[ he looks away suddenly, expression both bashful and coy. speaking of perversion, perhaps it's alarming that between the two of them, nisaka is the one to consider the age-old practice between couples of christening every room first. ]
[ Kuroo cocks an eyebrow at that comment, confused for a moment as to what Nisaka could possibly mean - was he talking about unpacking, decorating, something to do with having to tidy all the rooms while doing housework? Kuroo is right in the middle of squashing down sinful thoughts about maids... Nisaka... Nisaka in a maids d- then he gets it. ]
Oh. Oh! Ohhh, I get it.
[ His hands pull Nisaka a little closer, expression going sleazy, almost encouraged by Nisaka's coy expression. He even ducks his head, presses a little line of kisses along his jaw, chuckling against his skin. ]
Aren't you supposed to wait till all the rooms are furnished to christen them? I don't have a couch tucked in my back pocket, you know.
[ kuroo pls... the fact that it takes his boyfriend as long as it does to get there only makes nisaka that much more embarrassed for having thought of it in the first place. clearly kuroo has made him into some kind of hedonist!! ]
Does it matter? We've done it in more uncomfortable surfaces than just the floor.
[ his voice comes out in a murmur, shifting as if to pull away from those kisses, though the movement itself just bares more of his neck for the other to do what he likes with it.
(also there is a dirty joke here about having a couch tucked into his front pocket, heh. —god, kuroo really has ruined him, hasn't he?)
anyway, he curls his hands around the front of kuroo's shirt, tugging faintly. time to get back into focus. ]
[ Kuroo's lips are straying down Nisaka's pulse, getting much too carried away with the amount of skin that's being offered up for his hunger to devour-- But then Nisaka pulls at his shirt and he actually has to hold in a whine at the reminder that they still have an apartment to move into, rooms to explore, and Kuroo still has a surprise waiting for him upstairs. ]
Alright, alright. [ He steps back until he can stand up straighter, hands falling away until only one is left, fingers lacing into Nisaka's as he kicks off his shoes against the lip of the entranceway. ] So.. Living room. [ He pulls Nisaka after him, turning into the first room at the end of the corridor. It's bare, there's no couch or table yet, but there is a TV dumped in the corner and a box full of textbooks by the far wall. ] The view makes it, though.
[ He nudges Nisaka over to it, then winds his arms around his middle, hugging him from behind with his chin on his shoulder as they both look out over the midday Tokyo sky. ]
[ even more surprises? kuroo really doesn't like to lose, hmph. ]
Wow...
[ it's fortunate that kuroo should stand behind him, arms wrapped firmly. it keeps him steady, keeps him from feeling light on his feet like he were floating. he doesn't know if he's ever seen a view like this. it seems all too surreal that this is going to be the view he comes home to every day.
unable to help himself, he leans forward slightly to press his hands against the glass, trying to see more than a casual look will grant him. a place like this, with a view like this... it definitely isn't cheap. and kuroo got it, worked hard for it. just for them. ]
[ It's painfully endearing to watch Nisaka be so in awe of the view, and it is very breathtaking... ]
It's not the best. [ Kuroo, please..... ] I wanted something with a clearer view, but anything not blocked off by the skyscrapers was more than I could afford. So we have to put up with those two putting us in shadow. [ He wafts a hand at the two large office buildings off to the side of their window. They're not really that badly in view, but apparently it matters to real estate. ]
Anyway, [ He presses a kiss to Nisaka's cheek.. the same cheek he'd kissed the first time they'd met... and then wanders off in the direction of the two little rooms to the side of the window. ] Laundry room, bathroom.. [ He says as he pushes both doors open. They're standard, pretty plain, so he doesn't really feel like they need any kind of heightened attention. Then.. he moves toward the stairs in the corner. ] The bedroom is up here.
[ He reaches out his hand, expression going a little tentative, perhaps nervous for a moment as he waits for Nisaka to take it. He's not worried about the contact, but maybe its the fact that this will be the room in the house thats teh most important to them that's weighing a little heavy on him.
The room is like an attic bedroom, the roof sloped but still managing to appear tall. There's a round window off to one side, letting in a decent amount of sunlight that illuminates a large bed with soft white sheets and pillows, and a box that sits on the comforter. The wardrobe door is open, showing its empty insides. ]
Mom has a thing about empty wardrobes. They're bad luck and all that. I figured we should have something to put in there.
[ Inside the box is a soft woolen scarf, dark blue, the kind of color that reminds Kuroo of winter and of the first time the met. ]
[ it is purely nisaka's awe that keeps his mouth quiet, tongue dull. kuroo isn't often modest (in fact, it is a very rare occurrence, as many of his friends and family will attest), but when he is, it is always when he deserves praise the most. an apartment like this? right out of graduation, in a city like tokyo? it is not nothing, and it is not something nisaka will so easily gloss over.
less so when kuroo finally takes him upstairs, shows him the little space that will soon be theirs and theirs alone, where they will rise and fall every morning and every day, wrapped up in each other. the tentativeness that kuroo speaks with, the shy little looks he keeps giving nisaka — it makes his heart ache, to think that even now, his boyfriend would still be so nervous, as if convinced he might still be able to ruin this somehow...
his lips purse as his eyes settle on the scarf, all in an attempt to keep them still. as a result, it is his hands that quiver, but he stills them in tight fists at his sides. ]
...You really thought a lot about this. About — us.
[ it's there, in every nook and cranny of their quiet little apartment. still so bare, but already so them, and he knows, he just knows that that's what kuroo was thinking when he bought this in the first place. he's thought about it all.
nisaka looks to his boyfriend now, eyes wide and searching. he feels it bubbling in his chest, like water, like waves, filling him up, wanting to spill out but there's so much, he feels like he's drowning, ]
Kuroo...
[ no. no, that's not right. he keeps trying to tread the water, keep his head above the surface, ]
[ Kuroo feels like he does when he's waiting for the whistle to blow signalling the start of a match, like he's ready to pounce and about to throw up all at the same time. It's been a very long time coming at this point, months and months of preparations and agonising over tiny details and fretting over ifs and whats, all leading up to this moment where he finally hears Nisaka's verdict on these choices he's made all by himself, about them, their future together...
That's why, when he hears Nisaka speak up, sound so amazed by what he's done, he almost lets out a breathless laugh. Of course he thought a lot about this, how could he not have? Every minute of his day seems to focus on Nisaka lately, every moment caught up on thoughts of how to get closer to a time when Nisaka is more than just a thought, a memory... on how to get closer to this.
And then he hears his name, his given name, his first name, and then that sound, the sight of Nisaka's lips forming those words... Kuroo almost chokes.
He's known, of course, all along.. just as he's certain Nisaka has known that he feels the same way for him, but it's never been right, the situation always too hectic or fleeting... but now, in what will soon be their home together, in the bedroom they'll make their own, in the bed they'll unmake, in the sun that will greet them every morning instead of the glare of a phone screen.. Nisaka is here, tangible, close and offering himself to Kuroo entirely, even this part of him that Kuroo knows is more precious to him than it might be for other people. ]
Yeah. [ He sounds breathless as he reaches out a hand, reaches for Nisaka, ends up only meeting his shirt hem, and holds it in an almost childish way. ] I know. [ A pause, a weighty one, but a happy one. All of that tentativeness gone as he settles in this pure, honest moment where he can finally let this thing out into the open, get it off his chest. He smiles. ]
[ it had been there, both heavy and light on his tongue that curls around each syllable like hands holding something precious. words ready to spring out and finally be heard by the ears they were meant for, and not the quiet dark of his bedroom when their phone conversations have long since ended, and loneliness is all the company he has left.
somehow it is both fitting and right that kuroo beats him to it, ever the competitive one, but they are both winners here, aren't they? two lucky souls who happened on each other by accident, despite all nisaka had done (subconsciously or not) in an attempt to sabotage them.
so he laughs, a watery, bubbling sound. his hands fly up again, pressing against his eyes. ]
Idiot — don't speak for me..!
[ there's no helping it, the tears keep flowing again, and not for the first time he wonders when he had begun to feel quite as much as he does now. it's all so intense, it's almost scary, but he thinks it would be far scarier without it.
but he tears his hands away soon enough, all so he can glare through the tears at his boyfriend. this stupid, ridiculous, beautiful man who's carved a home in his heart. ]
I love you, Tetsurou. [ he says it now. he says it because he can, because he's been waiting to, because the hands he's thrusting them into have been open and waiting for them for so long, perhaps even longer than he even knows. ]
[ Again Kuroo finds himself a little breath-taken by the sheer emotion Nisaka is eminating. It's hard to compare the boy he'd met in that cafe, who'd acted as though Kuroo was an annoyance and used what little words he was willing to say to eradicate any lingering debts and sever ties before they'd even been made, to the man who now stands before him with tears in his eyes and feelings so powerful they make him shout. Feelings for him some little part of Kuroo reminds himself, the part that encourages butterflies to flood his chest, the part of him that finally made him sign the papers for this place, the part of him that is surely to blame for the tears suddenly running down his cheeks.
He isn't even really aware he's crying - he's not sad, and there's no racking sobs that come with it... he's just standing there, silently crying, a look of stunned silence on his face.
He knew it was coming, of course, but there's something about hearing it for himself, hearing Nisaka say it once and then again, shout it clearly so Kuroo has no choice but to hear and believe it, to watch that mouth that's been so reserved, so quiet, so vicious, say something that breaks and mends and then breaks Kuroo's heart in a handful of seconds.. There's something indescribable about it, something that not even the Nisaka in Kuroo's fantasies could hold a candle to.
While Kuroo is a very confident guy in all areas of his life, there are still some things that make him nervous, that give him enough pause that he could consider himself intimidated by them... and one of those things, surprisingly, happens to be relationships. He understands them because he's had a decent amount of exposure to them, and has enough common sense, patience and is perceptive enough to put factors together and come out with a decent estimation of how he should handle himself, what actions would elicit the best reactions from his partner... But being with someone like Nisaka, someone who makes him forget the periodic table and how to perform a dump shot and sometimes even his name... Being with someone like that changes things, shakes them up, makes them interesting and unexpected and exciting, and while Kuroo wouldn't change an inch of it for the world, it puts him in a vulnerable position, and a rare one; one where he doesn't have the upper hand.
He has no idea how fast or how slow they should be going, he has no idea if I love you is something they should be saying now, he has no idea if he's even at a point in his life where he's a decent enough person to be worthy of anything like love, anything like the feeling that makes someone like Nisaka cry... but even if he's not, the sight of it makes him want to be, and that's good enough for him.
He laughs - because of course he does - relieved and excited and overwhelmingly happy all at once, swooping forward to press his grinning mouth against Nisaka's, then his cheek, then his chin, his jaw, his ear. ]
Say it again. [ He's not going to stop kissing him either, and holds him tight so he can't wriggle away. ] C'mon. Say it again.
[ it's silly, really. completely and utterly ridiculous that for that brief stretch of time between his heated declaration and kuroo's response, nisaka had actually felt a pang of fear, wondering if he shouldn't have said anything at all after all. it's especially dumb considering he's standing in an apartment kuroo had gotten all by himself for them, after having his thunder taken when kuroo beat him to saying i love you first.
still, that is definitely his heart in his throat when kuroo finally kisses along it, making his breath of relief stutter out in what might have been a sob, if he had any tears left to spare at that point. he can feel kuroo's mingling with his as he dots kisses all along his cheeks, his jaw. nisaka turns away as if to run from the kisses, but the grip he's got on kuroo's sleeves tell a different story. ]
Now you're just being greedy, [ he huffs, words with absolutely no sting to them. he holds out for all of ten seconds, before all of kuroo's wandering kisses finally get to him. his hands come up, catching kuroo's face between his palms, forcing the older man to draw back, look down at him.
at first his expression is pinched, a ready reprimand on his lips to implore him to stop...
but that expression only softens. something shy and bashful left in its place. ]
[ Kuroo doesn't look bothered in the slightest about being called greedy, because if loving the sound of Nisaka's voice saying those words in a way that leaves very little room for Kuroo's small insecurities to wriggle through and give him any reason for doubt is being greedy, then he's a proud glutton for it. He hasn't stopped smiling yet, even when Nisaka takes his cheeks in his hands, holds him still and looks at him, says it again so earnestly and honestly that Kuroo can feel a physical shudder run through him from how badly he wants to kiss him and kiss him and kiss him and never stop.. ]
I know. [ He says again, grin pinching a little tighter, but without a single trace of that teasing habit he's so well known for.. Instead it's full of genuine happiness, his eyes squeezing a little tigher like that might stop the tears clinging around his eyes, threatening to fall. ] I love you too.
[ Then he lowers his arms from Nisaka's waist to his ass and hikes him upwards with ease, lifting him for just a moment before turning and dumping him on the bed with a soft little laugh as he watches his small frame become surrounded by the soft sheets. He can't resist, even if he'd wanted to; he follows soon after, climbing over his boyfriend and pressing a slightly wet kiss to his mouth as they lay together on their bed. ]
[ he falls without any resistance, which would have been a wonderful metaphor for their love story, had it only been that smooth and easy. in a way, he supposes it was, for he can only count on one hand the number of times it had ever really gotten difficult, gotten truly scary. those times were, more often than not, his fault entirely. kuroo had always been the optimistic one, the one who dared to hope big for them both, and he knows it's entirely on kuroo's back that this relationship ever made it afloat.
it's why, when the older man finally pulls away from the kiss, that nisaka's hand finds the side of his face, tenderly memorizing every slope and line with his fingers, his eyes. it's why he can't stop looking at kuroo like his heart will burst at just the thought of him. why he has to bite down on a lip to keep from saying it, again and again, because he deserves to hear it, deserves to know just how much his hard work and perseverance has gotten them. thank you, i love you, thank you for loving me.
but he's said enough, hasn't he? they have their future to continue spilling words. he doesn't want to cry any more, not even happy tears, because he wants to laugh and shout and moan and sigh. he wants to fill this apartment with all the things they can share together. because they can. because they're letting themselves.
he glances up and around, stretching out his arms to spread against the bed. he's only ever had a twin-sized bed; the sheer size of it amazes him. ]
[ Kuroo gazes down at Nisaka as his fingers and eyes take him in as though he's trying to find something hidden in the lines of his face, or perhaps simply trying to remember every inch of him so that when he closes his eyes he still see him, recall every dip of his features, each perfect imperfection, all of it. Just like Kuroo does in those soft moments before Nisaka wakes up, when he's looking at his phone and Kuroo forgets how to do anything but watch him purse his lips as he types, burn it all into his mind so that when they're apart he can close his eyes, imagine what it would be like to have Nisaka sat beside him scowling at his phone or muttering something vicious..
With a rush, though, he realises that imagining is something he'll no longer have to do.. Now he can spend all his time treasuring the sight of his boyfriend just because he can, just because even after years of being together sometimes it's still hard to believe he's real, and his.
Kuroo pushes himself up a bit, sitting over Nisaka's hips and watching him as he stretches out. It's so cute that Kuroo is tempted to smother him with kisses again.. but he'll resist. For now. ]
Perhaps it's just that you're so small, kitten.
[ He teases, smile turning a little wicked as his hands dip down to press his fingertips against the small sliver of Nisaka's tummy that's peeked out from under his shirt as he lifted his arms. ]
[ he shivers at the touch, kuroo's fingers both cold and warm against his sensitive skin. unlike kuroo, he isn't all hard and firm under his shirt, more soft and lithe and so his skin is smooth, and his stomach concaves when he sucks in a breath. his hands come down out of reflex, slim fingers curling around each wrist as if to draw them back. but rather than push, he simply keeps hold, letting the pads of his fingers lightly stroke up along the equally sensitive skin where kuroo's pulse thumps steadily. ]
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no subject
That's because you're a giant softie, [ he murmurs, as if he isn't blubbering himself right this moment. his hands fit over kuroo's arms, keeping the man close. he bites down on his lip, finally cautiously glancing around them. his breath is held, not daring to really believe it all just yet. ]
This... Is this really happening?
no subject
He lifts a hand to Nisaka's face, thumb tracing over his cheek, wiping away some of the stray tears clinging there. ]
Yeah.
[ That question, though.. the way he looks around like he's afraid the tarp is going to be removed and reveal that this is all some cosmic joke, that he'd misunderstood.. that he's not allowed to feel this good, be this happy. It makes Kuroo's entire soul ache, and he tightens his hold on Nisaka with the one arm he still has around him. ]
It's happening. Because of you, and how I feel about you. I don't want to have to say goodbye anymore, I don't wanna wonder what you're doing, or worry about you when you're sick because I can't be there to look after you, or wake up in the middle of the night and have to check my phone just so I can look at you. I don't wanna spend one more day of my life doing anything unless I'm coming home to you afterwards.
[ It's a lot, he knows, but sometimes a lot is what's needed to make certain things sink in. ]
no subject
and it's all because of the man in front of him. all because he decided to take a chance on a dumb boy like him.
he nods, nestling his cheek into the hand at his jaw. sniffling a few times, he shuffles closer to press against his chest, fitting himself there like he's learned to. ]
I want this too... I'm tired of missing you.
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Now you won't have to.
[ Now they'll be able to wake up together, go to sleep together, cook for each other (or rather, enjoy Kuroo's cooking together) and do all those little domestic things it's easy to roll eyes at, but which seem like luxuries Kuroo's softened heart has been denied for way too long now. ]
Hey, don't worry, you'll be sick of me in a week. [ His face creases into a grin at his own joke, though there's probably a little truth in it. He's all too aware of how annoying he can be, and simply counts himself lucky that Nisaka still wants to live with him regardless of having dealt with all his frustrating tendancies first hand.
He drops his hand so he can give Nisaka one last tight squeeze before reluctantly letting him go. They can't just stand here in the genkan with the door wide open all day, after all. ]
I'll admit, the last time I moved out I had two boxes and they were mostly full of clothes. [ But then, Kuroo's last place of residence had been an apartment almost fit for one person, with barely enough room to breathe. This, in comparison, is way bigger. ] And I'm not good at packing. Or unpacking.
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We'll figure it out, [ he responds, tone delicate as if he were saying something reverent. we, we, we. nisaka wonders when he had started thinking in those terms.
he turns back to kuroo, eyes dropping down to the box he'd set aside. ]
Mail already?
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Oh. [ His reverie of just kind of gazing all love-struck after Nisaka, basking in the we of that reply, is broken when his attention is directed back to the box ]. Yeah. It arrived at the school this morning.
[ He moves back over to it, picking it up carefully so he can lift it onto the nearby side table. It's clearly heavy, about the size of two shoe boxes stacked on top of one another, and has Kenma's messy writing scribbled across the top of it. One visible message by the postage directions says don't open this alone which.. is a little creepy, out of context, but to be expected from Kenma.
Kuroo glances at Nisaka, smiles again like an excited child, and whips out his key to trail it down the side and break open the parcel tape. Once the parcel is open, Kuroo takes out a note from the top. Underneath is a speaker system, made to play CDs and to serve as a docking station for a phone, and the first thing Kuroo notices about it is that it looks expensive. His eyebrows raise, his cheeks warming a little because Kenma is definitely not the type for grand gestures such as this.. and tentatively, he opens the note. ]
....
[ He reads it, reads it again, and that flush to his face goes red hot in a matter of seconds. He thrusts the note at Nisaka and kind of crumples a bit, leaning against the wall nearest to them with his head in his hands.
The note, should Nisaka choose to read it, contains the following: ]
it's not for you. it's for your neighbours.
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[ Nisaka is too sexy for Kuroo to resist fucking him so good, so this definitely isn't all on Kuroo.
Normally he wouldn't care all that much about friends being on to his less than private sexual activity with his boyfriend - normally he'd even be proud - but Kenma is a ruthless little creature hiding behind a plain expression and a timid manner. With Kuroo he's vicious, and given enough taunting he can be dangerous with the things he knows about Kuroo. He could tell his Mom, which is probably the eventuality that frightens him the most. With this note and gift Kenma is both showing he cares and showing that, even though they live hours apart now, he still has Kuroo by the balls.
Kuroo makes a pathetic whining noise, letting his head fall back onto the wall for a moment before he's pushing himself up and plodding over to Nisaka like an upset toddler. He curls around him, long arms wrapping around his neck like a scarf while his head pillows against his shoulder, fluffy hair tickling the side of his face. ]
Now I can't ask you if you wanna see the bedroom without sounding like a pervert... [ He whines again, against Nisaka's throat where his lips have found a home. ]
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You are a pervert, [ he says, not unkindly, but rather matter-of-factly. he stays silent for a few moments, before graciously admitting: ] But I suppose I don't really mind it.
[ he hums, considering. then, oh so casually: ]
How many rooms does this apartment have?
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Distracted, momentarily, by considering this and allowing himself to get a little emotional about it, he doesn't even respond to being called a pervert (not that he could because, duh), but he does catch Nisaka's admission, which makes him smile. He drops his hands, wrapping them around Nisaka's waist instead, and presses a wet kiss under his ear while giving him a tight squeeze. ]
You love it~ You can't lie to me~ [ He says before drawing back a bit, enough that he can look at Nisaka but not enough that he has to let go of his waist. It's a little awkward, due to their height difference, but Kuroo doesn't have a problem stooping a bit. In fact he kind of thinks it's funny to exaggerate it. ]
Uhhh, six if you count the genkan and hallway. [ He tilts his head. ] Why?
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Oh. Oh! Ohhh, I get it.
[ His hands pull Nisaka a little closer, expression going sleazy, almost encouraged by Nisaka's coy expression. He even ducks his head, presses a little line of kisses along his jaw, chuckling against his skin. ]
Aren't you supposed to wait till all the rooms are furnished to christen them? I don't have a couch tucked in my back pocket, you know.
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Does it matter? We've done it in more uncomfortable surfaces than just the floor.
[ his voice comes out in a murmur, shifting as if to pull away from those kisses, though the movement itself just bares more of his neck for the other to do what he likes with it.
(also there is a dirty joke here about having a couch tucked into his front pocket, heh. —god, kuroo really has ruined him, hasn't he?)
anyway, he curls his hands around the front of kuroo's shirt, tugging faintly. time to get back into focus. ]
Show me around.
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Alright, alright. [ He steps back until he can stand up straighter, hands falling away until only one is left, fingers lacing into Nisaka's as he kicks off his shoes against the lip of the entranceway. ] So.. Living room. [ He pulls Nisaka after him, turning into the first room at the end of the corridor. It's bare, there's no couch or table yet, but there is a TV dumped in the corner and a box full of textbooks by the far wall. ] The view makes it, though.
[ He nudges Nisaka over to it, then winds his arms around his middle, hugging him from behind with his chin on his shoulder as they both look out over the midday Tokyo sky. ]
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Wow...
[ it's fortunate that kuroo should stand behind him, arms wrapped firmly. it keeps him steady, keeps him from feeling light on his feet like he were floating. he doesn't know if he's ever seen a view like this. it seems all too surreal that this is going to be the view he comes home to every day.
unable to help himself, he leans forward slightly to press his hands against the glass, trying to see more than a casual look will grant him. a place like this, with a view like this... it definitely isn't cheap. and kuroo got it, worked hard for it. just for them. ]
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It's not the best. [ Kuroo, please..... ] I wanted something with a clearer view, but anything not blocked off by the skyscrapers was more than I could afford. So we have to put up with those two putting us in shadow. [ He wafts a hand at the two large office buildings off to the side of their window. They're not really that badly in view, but apparently it matters to real estate. ]
Anyway, [ He presses a kiss to Nisaka's cheek.. the same cheek he'd kissed the first time they'd met... and then wanders off in the direction of the two little rooms to the side of the window. ] Laundry room, bathroom.. [ He says as he pushes both doors open. They're standard, pretty plain, so he doesn't really feel like they need any kind of heightened attention. Then.. he moves toward the stairs in the corner. ] The bedroom is up here.
[ He reaches out his hand, expression going a little tentative, perhaps nervous for a moment as he waits for Nisaka to take it. He's not worried about the contact, but maybe its the fact that this will be the room in the house thats teh most important to them that's weighing a little heavy on him.
The room is like an attic bedroom, the roof sloped but still managing to appear tall. There's a round window off to one side, letting in a decent amount of sunlight that illuminates a large bed with soft white sheets and pillows, and a box that sits on the comforter. The wardrobe door is open, showing its empty insides. ]
Mom has a thing about empty wardrobes. They're bad luck and all that. I figured we should have something to put in there.
[ Inside the box is a soft woolen scarf, dark blue, the kind of color that reminds Kuroo of winter and of the first time the met. ]
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That's why, when he hears Nisaka speak up, sound so amazed by what he's done, he almost lets out a breathless laugh. Of course he thought a lot about this, how could he not have? Every minute of his day seems to focus on Nisaka lately, every moment caught up on thoughts of how to get closer to a time when Nisaka is more than just a thought, a memory... on how to get closer to this.
And then he hears his name, his given name, his first name, and then that sound, the sight of Nisaka's lips forming those words... Kuroo almost chokes.
He's known, of course, all along.. just as he's certain Nisaka has known that he feels the same way for him, but it's never been right, the situation always too hectic or fleeting... but now, in what will soon be their home together, in the bedroom they'll make their own, in the bed they'll unmake, in the sun that will greet them every morning instead of the glare of a phone screen.. Nisaka is here, tangible, close and offering himself to Kuroo entirely, even this part of him that Kuroo knows is more precious to him than it might be for other people. ]
Yeah. [ He sounds breathless as he reaches out a hand, reaches for Nisaka, ends up only meeting his shirt hem, and holds it in an almost childish way. ] I know. [ A pause, a weighty one, but a happy one. All of that tentativeness gone as he settles in this pure, honest moment where he can finally let this thing out into the open, get it off his chest. He smiles. ]
I love you too.
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somehow it is both fitting and right that kuroo beats him to it, ever the competitive one, but they are both winners here, aren't they? two lucky souls who happened on each other by accident, despite all nisaka had done (subconsciously or not) in an attempt to sabotage them.
so he laughs, a watery, bubbling sound. his hands fly up again, pressing against his eyes. ]
Idiot — don't speak for me..!
[ there's no helping it, the tears keep flowing again, and not for the first time he wonders when he had begun to feel quite as much as he does now. it's all so intense, it's almost scary, but he thinks it would be far scarier without it.
but he tears his hands away soon enough, all so he can glare through the tears at his boyfriend. this stupid, ridiculous, beautiful man who's carved a home in his heart. ]
I love you, Tetsurou. [ he says it now. he says it because he can, because he's been waiting to, because the hands he's thrusting them into have been open and waiting for them for so long, perhaps even longer than he even knows. ]
I love you!
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He isn't even really aware he's crying - he's not sad, and there's no racking sobs that come with it... he's just standing there, silently crying, a look of stunned silence on his face.
He knew it was coming, of course, but there's something about hearing it for himself, hearing Nisaka say it once and then again, shout it clearly so Kuroo has no choice but to hear and believe it, to watch that mouth that's been so reserved, so quiet, so vicious, say something that breaks and mends and then breaks Kuroo's heart in a handful of seconds.. There's something indescribable about it, something that not even the Nisaka in Kuroo's fantasies could hold a candle to.
While Kuroo is a very confident guy in all areas of his life, there are still some things that make him nervous, that give him enough pause that he could consider himself intimidated by them... and one of those things, surprisingly, happens to be relationships. He understands them because he's had a decent amount of exposure to them, and has enough common sense, patience and is perceptive enough to put factors together and come out with a decent estimation of how he should handle himself, what actions would elicit the best reactions from his partner... But being with someone like Nisaka, someone who makes him forget the periodic table and how to perform a dump shot and sometimes even his name... Being with someone like that changes things, shakes them up, makes them interesting and unexpected and exciting, and while Kuroo wouldn't change an inch of it for the world, it puts him in a vulnerable position, and a rare one; one where he doesn't have the upper hand.
He has no idea how fast or how slow they should be going, he has no idea if I love you is something they should be saying now, he has no idea if he's even at a point in his life where he's a decent enough person to be worthy of anything like love, anything like the feeling that makes someone like Nisaka cry... but even if he's not, the sight of it makes him want to be, and that's good enough for him.
He laughs - because of course he does - relieved and excited and overwhelmingly happy all at once, swooping forward to press his grinning mouth against Nisaka's, then his cheek, then his chin, his jaw, his ear. ]
Say it again. [ He's not going to stop kissing him either, and holds him tight so he can't wriggle away. ] C'mon. Say it again.
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still, that is definitely his heart in his throat when kuroo finally kisses along it, making his breath of relief stutter out in what might have been a sob, if he had any tears left to spare at that point. he can feel kuroo's mingling with his as he dots kisses all along his cheeks, his jaw. nisaka turns away as if to run from the kisses, but the grip he's got on kuroo's sleeves tell a different story. ]
Now you're just being greedy, [ he huffs, words with absolutely no sting to them. he holds out for all of ten seconds, before all of kuroo's wandering kisses finally get to him. his hands come up, catching kuroo's face between his palms, forcing the older man to draw back, look down at him.
at first his expression is pinched, a ready reprimand on his lips to implore him to stop...
but that expression only softens. something shy and bashful left in its place. ]
I love you.
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I know. [ He says again, grin pinching a little tighter, but without a single trace of that teasing habit he's so well known for.. Instead it's full of genuine happiness, his eyes squeezing a little tigher like that might stop the tears clinging around his eyes, threatening to fall. ] I love you too.
[ Then he lowers his arms from Nisaka's waist to his ass and hikes him upwards with ease, lifting him for just a moment before turning and dumping him on the bed with a soft little laugh as he watches his small frame become surrounded by the soft sheets. He can't resist, even if he'd wanted to; he follows soon after, climbing over his boyfriend and pressing a slightly wet kiss to his mouth as they lay together on their bed. ]
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it's why, when the older man finally pulls away from the kiss, that nisaka's hand finds the side of his face, tenderly memorizing every slope and line with his fingers, his eyes. it's why he can't stop looking at kuroo like his heart will burst at just the thought of him. why he has to bite down on a lip to keep from saying it, again and again, because he deserves to hear it, deserves to know just how much his hard work and perseverance has gotten them. thank you, i love you, thank you for loving me.
but he's said enough, hasn't he? they have their future to continue spilling words. he doesn't want to cry any more, not even happy tears, because he wants to laugh and shout and moan and sigh. he wants to fill this apartment with all the things they can share together. because they can. because they're letting themselves.
he glances up and around, stretching out his arms to spread against the bed. he's only ever had a twin-sized bed; the sheer size of it amazes him. ]
It's so big...
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With a rush, though, he realises that imagining is something he'll no longer have to do.. Now he can spend all his time treasuring the sight of his boyfriend just because he can, just because even after years of being together sometimes it's still hard to believe he's real, and his.
Kuroo pushes himself up a bit, sitting over Nisaka's hips and watching him as he stretches out. It's so cute that Kuroo is tempted to smother him with kisses again.. but he'll resist. For now. ]
Perhaps it's just that you're so small, kitten.
[ He teases, smile turning a little wicked as his hands dip down to press his fingertips against the small sliver of Nisaka's tummy that's peeked out from under his shirt as he lifted his arms. ]
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